My Captive Thoughts

The Final Segment

2012-01-31T09:56:00.000-08:00

Recently, I celebrated my sixtyfifth birthday with my lovely wife, some family members and some close friends.All in all, it was a good day. Afterwards I spent the rest of the day thinkingabout my lifelong journey and the unbelievable adventure it has been. What aride!

My AARP magazine says that beingsixty five in today’s world, is like being forty five… twenty years ago. Whilethat may be, I have absolutely no desire to be twenty years younger. I likegetting old, yet I also look forward to the possibility of having anothertwenty years or so of being around. I don’t really feel much older, with theexception of being a little weaker and not quite so flexible. In fact, thoughmy appearance has changed, I really don’t feel much different than I did when Iwas forty five.

It seems that my life, up to thispoint, has been lived out in twenty one year or so increments. To date I havelived three out of a possible four. It seems as though those first three just flewby. I was recently joking with one of my young friends who was boasting that hehad just turned twenty one. I told him that’s nothing, I’ve already done that….three times. Three times…. Wow.

My first twenty one years werespent becoming a fool and doing a lot of stupid things. A lot of thatfoolishness that is ‘bound up in the heart of a child’ came pouring out of me especiallywhen I left home. Sort of like a wild river running down a canyon floor. Thecurrent of that river swept me down the rapids and over the falls of moral andmental depravity. I spent the end of that first segment wasting it on foolish waysto entertain myself at the expense of what little religion and common sense Ihad been brought up with.

Caught up in the thrills of the presentmoment I had no idea how the decisions I was inadvertently making would so affectmy future. Not many young people do till the damage is already done. But Iguess that’s normal, cause most folks don’t start out very smart and youngpeople don’t always make very good choices. I know I sure didn’t.

By some undeserved grace I gotolder and my perspectives in life really began changing. After one of my bestfriends died in a senseless accident I realized if my present course continued unaltered,I could lose the chance to change. This was the time Christ began to reveal HisSelf to me. I spend a lot of my time thanking Him for forgiving the stupidity ofmy youth and that had He kept me alive till He found me.

During this brief period of timeI learned that if wasn’t for the love and mercy of God hardly anyone wouldsurvive their youth. We could have just disappeared in the chaos ofself-centeredness. I certainly would have. It was also during this period thatI began to follow that love. Christ and His teachings began to be the onlything that made any sense concerning my existence. As a result of that love andmercy I became born of His Spirit.

The second twenty one years werespent finding out what the first twenty or so years had actually done to me. Iwas a mess; … and what would prove worse yet, now being a Christian, I thoughtI could do something about that mess. It didn’t take very long, while trying tofollow Christ, to see how bad an idea that was. Just a few years into being aChristian everything started going wrong.

All my new Christian dreams andschemes were blown away in the chaotic winds of the trauma of real spiritual life.All I thought I knew, all I had depended on pretty much disintegrated …even myunderstanding of what Christ wanted of me. Being bad was bad enough when Iwanted to be bad but it was downright devastating when I was bad and at thesame time wanted to be good. Everything failed.

I felt so alone and so illequipped to handle any of life’s harsh realities. Life was now more confusingthan it ever was before. I fell prey to despair while seeking the answer to themost ancient of unanswerable of questions; … If I really was a Christ follower,why were these things happening to me? Isn’t He supposed to be taking care ofme?

If it hadn’t been for His Comfortercoming along side me during this devastating time in my life I would have completelybeen destroyed. Even so I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to continue to live atall. Betrayal by close friends and relatives, with its consequential devastatingloss of my family, followed by the death of our child broke things so deepinside of me that I didn’t even know they were broken until a decade later.

The third twenty one year segmentwas spent trying to actually do something about the previous two. And althoughI believe I did make some progress, my vision of how very far there was to go,undid me… and undid me more than once.

A few things I learned duringthat period was; nothing remains the same, it never matters what other’s do, Christ is the onlysafe place and in the end, we will all stand before the Creator stripped of allour excuses and the motives of our heart will be laid bare. Therefore …every minutewe have here is precious.

Now I am starting on what mayvery well be my fourth and final twenty one year segment. This segment is to methe most important one. It’s all about my final preparation for the entrance intoreal spiritual life. It’s my last chance to fully trust Him. This last segmentwill not determine my eternal destination because that’s already been decided; butit will determine whether there will be a smile on His face when I arrive.

I am beginning to believe that thissegment will be about me letting go of all my fears and resting in His love not losing sleep over every church matter.I am still discovering how powerless I really am. I cannot fix my life, advancemy life or bring it to completeness. I cannot build the Kingdom, correct or keepsafe its inhabitants. It’s not about what I can do for Him; it’s about who Heis and what He has done for me.

I am finally realizing that Iwill never be the man I think I should be. I am also realizing something else….Henever wanted me to be that man. He simply wants me to be His and get some sleep.

One of my most favorite passagesof Scriptures is:

A Song of Ascents. Of Solomon. Unless theLORD builds the house, They labor in vain who build it; Unless the LORD guardsthe city, The watchman stays awake in vain. It is vain for you to rise up early, To sit up late, To eat thebread of sorrows; For so Hegives His beloved sleep. (Psalm 127:1-2)

The Hebrew word which is translated beloved at the end of this psalm is almost the same word my name David is taken from and which meansthe same thing. That may be one of the reasons it continually speaks so much to me.

He really can build thehouse and guard the city. I must continually remember that it is Hishouse, His city, His people and that He who watches never sleeps; … but it’s OKfor me to.

We'll See .....

2011-12-05T14:19:00.001-08:00

Once upon a time, there was afarmer in the central region of China. He didn't have a lot of money and,instead of a tractor, he used an old horse to plow his field.

One afternoon, while working inthe field, the horse dropped dead. Everyone in the village said, "Oh, whata horrible thing to happen." The farmer said simply, "We'llsee." He was so at peace and so calm, that everyone in the village gottogether and, admiring his attitude, gave him a new horse as a gift.

Everyone's reaction now was,"What a lucky man." And the farmer said, "We'll see."

A couple days later, the newhorse jumped a fence and ran away. Everyone in the village shook their headsand said, "What a poor fellow!" The farmer smiled and said,"We'll see."

Eventually, the horse found hisway home, and everyone again said, "What a fortunate man." The farmersaid, "We'll see."

Later in the year, the farmer'syoung boy went out riding on the horse and fell and broke his leg. Everyone inthe village said, "What a shame for the poor boy." The farmer said,"We'll see."

Two days later, the army cameinto the village to draft new recruits. When they saw that the farmer's son hada broken leg, they decided not to recruit him. Everyone said, "What afortunate young man."The farmer smiled again - and said "We'llsee."

Moral of the story: There's nouse in overreacting to the events and circumstances of our everyday lives. Manytimes what looks like a setback, may actually be a gift in disguise. And whenour hearts are in the right place, all events and circumstances are gifts froma wonderful heavenly Father.

RighteousResponse vs. Rude Reaction

Unlike the farmer in the story Ispend much of my time reacting to situations around me and coming toconclusions that are based primarily on fear or unreality. In so doing I end upnegating my faith, disappointing God and raising my blood pressure. The scriptures teach us that if we are Disciplesof Christ everything happening to us comes through the hands of a lovingFather. That means …. Everything.

And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to thosewho are the called according to Hispurpose. (Rom 8:28)

If I love God and have acceptedHis purpose in my life, He has already seen what I’m going through and wovenits impact with everything else in my life to produce a beneficial outcome.

It is not abnormal to feel bad when I perceive that bad thingsare happening to me, just as it is normal to feel good when I think ‘good things’ arehappening. Yet to conclude what is happening to me is good or bad, Iwould have to know the future, not just the little part of time I’mexperiencing. Like the farmer our happiness should not be based on whether wesee this as good or bad; but rather that God loves me, so; .We’ll see.

If I could see through God’s eyesinstead of my own, my perspective of what’s happening to me would drasticallychange. Situations can look great or seemterrible but that doesn’t mean they really are. Because I cannot see the futureI cannot know whether whatever is happening to me is good or bad. He sees theend and that is why I react one way and God reacts differently.

I quickly react to mostsituations and cry out; “Isn’t this great” or “Isn’t this terrible” when God quietlysays…. “We’ll see”. This is evident in the life of Moses and others whofollowed God.

Moses’ life was much like the Chinesefarmer having his share of troubles. Yet remember; we can only see a portion ofthe progression of events not their finality. We (at the time) cannot see thefuture and therefore cannot know how things will pan out.

Moses was born to the chosen people of God… Isn’tthat great? … We’ll see.

As a result the pharaoh wants to kill Moses ….Isn’t that terrible?… We’ll see.

As a result Moses is picked up by his daughterto be raised in the palace and can use his position to deliver the Israelites …Isn’t that great? … We’ll see.

As aresult, Moses after trying to do just that, loses everything and goes intoexile … Isn’t that terrible? … We’ll see.

As a result Moses found God and delivered God’speople … Isn’t that great? … We’ll see.

As a result God’s people took advantage oftheir freedom and rebelled against Moses … Isn’t that terrible? … We’ll see.

As a result Moses was given the TenCommandments …. Isn’t that great?… We’ll see.

Staying Connected

If I stay connected to God when things happenedto me, I would be able to hear him say to all my fears …. We’ll see!

Yet I am actually called to go furtherthan the wise farmer. I am not to just remain passive and say … We’ll see… I amto believe that whatever comes, there will be a blessing in it. I am to believe that if I seek to please Himwith my whole heart in all things; that everything coming into my life comes witha gift from a loving and all powerful Father.

But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that comes toGod must believe that he is, and thathe is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him. (Heb 11:6)

Righteousness not Reactions … Glory not Grief

How I perceive whatever happensto me also determines how I will respond to the person or circumstance. If I only use my natural senses to try anddetermine what I’m experiencing I will not be able to see … the unseen truth ofGod’s omnipotence and love.

Looking back on my life, I havespent far too much time reacting to people and circumstances before Iconsidered how God would have me walk in His righteousness. He is currentlyteaching me with each confrontation and each circumstance to … pause andreflect. That in each confrontation and circumstance I should give Him glory… andnot grief.

If I don’t trust God’s love inwhatever I’m experiencing there is a great chance of me responding badly to it.Yet, if I were to deliberately choose to believe in God’s ‘hidden blessing’ nomatter what I’m currently experiencing, I would be freer to respond in a more positiveand charitable way.

I am so ready to quit acting likea carnal reactionary flesh ball. I desire to start being righteous and startgiving glory (not grief) to God. I believe that practicing faith in God’s omnipotenceand love will actually strengthen me to respond in righteousness and not react.

Our father Abraham revealed theway to face circumstances when they look bleak or even impossible. We must facethem with faith in the promises of God. The belief rooted in God’s all powerfulgoodness toward us who believe; no matter what we feel or what we face.

And not being weak in faith, he did notconsider his own body, already dead (since he was about a hundred years old),and the deadness of Sarah's womb. He didnot waver at the promise of God through unbelief, but was strengthened infaith, giving glory to God, and being fully convinced that what He had promisedHe was also able to perform. Andtherefore "IT WAS ACCOUNTED TO HIMFOR RIGHTEOUSNESS." (Rom 4:19-22)

Ancient Truths for Happiness

2011-11-23T16:33:00.001-08:00

The holiday season for many peopleis the most lonely and depressing time of the year. There will many opportunitiesfor the children of light to bring their light into the lives of people who strugglein their own personal darkness.

Although you can’t really give what you don’t really have; soto get us ready, here are seven helpful and very old ….

AncientTruths for Happiness

Indeed, man wishes to be happy even when he so lives as to makehappiness impossible. ~St. Augustine

In an age where unhappiness seems to beeverywhere we look, it’s good to remind ourselves that a disciple’s happinessis not based on his physical, financial, or social status.For those of us who love and follow Christ happiness is based on the current status ofour relationship with Him. Here are seven reasons for the loss of our happinessand seven ways to find it again.

One

Sometimes our natural understandingof things causes our hope to retreat back into our own ideas, our own strength orinto just wishing we had more money.

That’s always the beginning ofunhappiness.

What I love about Jacob in the scripturesis that he wasn’t a very “good” man so to speak. He actually started out sortof a rascal; yet he finally learned to put his trust in the God who loved himand not in his own efforts. That’s when his nature changed from always being a ‘grabber’to a ‘chosen prince’. I want his help and his hope to be mine.

Happy is he who has the God of Jacob for his help,whose hope is in the LORD hisGod, Psalm 146:5

Two

It is crucial that we payattention to what the Lord is saying to us and to trust Him in working out the detailsof His will. Hold fast to what He has shown you and be careful in yourobedience to Him. He has already has made provision for all the ramificationsof you doing His will.

He who heedsthe Word wisely will find good, and whoever trusts in the LORD, happy is he. Proverbs 16:20

Three

Pray always to see what God sees. Never letanything interfere with God being able to speak to you and guide you. Neverseek to be free of God’s restraints on you. Look for Him in your circumstances,the scriptures and prayer. Never forget to do as He instructs.

Where thereis no revelation, the people cast off restraint; But happy is he who keeps the law. Proverbs 29:18

                                               Four

Always remember that you are intraining for righteousness and being led into perfection through obtaining His wisdom.Walk humbly before your God and consider it His love when you are humbled. Praythat He finds a way to correct you that you won’t reject. Don’t determine whichperson can and cannot correct you. Remember to live before Him and not people,letting your praise be from God and not man.

"Behold, happy is the manwhom God corrects; Therefore do not despise the chastening of the Almighty. Job5:17

                                               Five

Never let bitterness occupy yourthoughts for it will destroy everything good. Never let un-forgiveness moveinto your heart or you will find it to be the most difficult tenet to try and evict.Never let haughtiness walk with you for it will purposely trip you up. Nevergive passiveness a place to lay down in your life or you will find it difficultto ever get it up again. Cultivate the presence of a grateful heart and a worshipfulspirit; for they can protect you from spiritual ruin.

Happy is the man who is always reverent, But he who hardenshis heart will fall into calamity. Proverbs 28:14

                                              Six

There are many ways of showingsomeone you don’t like them. Perhaps the cruelest is to ignore them. Every daywe should look for those who struggle with being downcast. When we find andhelp them we also find a source of potential happiness for ourselves. Sometimesthe greatest act of kindness is to, in some personal way, let those people know… you see them; you care about them and that you love them. Whatever we end upgiving; God will refund it to us ….tenfold. Pretty good deal.

He who despises his neighbor sins; But he whohas mercy on the poor, happy is he. Proverbs 14:21

                                            Seven

Always listen to your conscience butnever force it on others. Don’t try to fix people. Don’t try to convict people ofanything, that's the job of the Holy Spirit; not you. Let everything you do or saycome from a desire to please God.

Do you have faith? Have it to yourself before God. Happy is he who does not condemn himself in what he approves.Romans 14:22

Let’s stop being so foolish and start gettingthe Wisdom He promised. Start eating from the Tree of Life. It’s the only real ‘Christmas tree’ and underneath itsbranches we will find, among others, the gifts of peace and happiness that Christ,not Santa, brought us.

Happy is the man whofinds wisdom, And the man who gains understanding; for herproceeds are better than theprofits of silver, and her gain than fine gold. She is more precious than rubies, and all the things you may desirecannot compare with her. Length of days isin her right hand, in her left hand riches and honor. Her ways are ways of pleasantness, and all her paths are peace. She isa tree of life to those who take hold of her, and happy are all who retain her. (Proverbs 3:13-18)

The Secret Covenant of Spiritual Relationships

2011-11-03T08:30:00.000-07:00

So Jonathan made a covenant with the house of David, saying, Let the LORD even require it at the hand of David's enemies. And Jonathan caused David to swear again, because he loved him: for he loved him as he loved his own soul. …. David arose out of a place toward the south, and fell on his face to the ground, and bowed himself three times: and they kissed one another, and wept one with another, David the most. And Jonathan said to David, Go in peace, forasmuch as we have sworn both of us in the name of the LORD, saying, The LORD be between me and thee, and between my seed and thy seed for ever. And he arose and departed: and Jonathan went into the city. (1Samuel 20:16-17; 41-42)

Jonathan and David

David and Jonathan’s relationship is one of the most beautiful pictures of an enduring, loving friendship in the Scripture. Their relationship passed through many difficult trials and yet, it always grew stronger and remained steadfast. It serves as a lasting example of maintaining friendships in difficult times and circumstances. It was one in which the Lord Himself was committed to keep, for He was a part of the relationship.

It would be good to find out what their secret was.

These men were not weak. Both of these young men were valiant warriors and born leaders. Both had a heart for God and both served Him with their lives. These were men with massively different upbringings and circumstances and their relationship could have cost both of them their lives. Yet they deeply loved one another and their relationship prevailed through much adversity.

The words contained in the twentieth chapter of the book of first Samuel were probably the last words they would speak to each other alive. I believe, contained in those words, and is a great revelation on how to obtain lasting and fruitful friendships in God.

The secret is contained in the words …..“The Lord be between me and you …forever”.

In these 8 words lies the answer to how relationships can become as lasting and beautiful as Jonathan and David’s did amidst so much adversity. Simply put; they covenanted together to keep the Lord always between them. He alone would define and maintain their relationship. How they were with the Lord determined how they were with each other.

Normally relationships are defined as the interactions and mindsets between the people involved. A relationship consists of what the people in the relationship believe about each other and that is determined by how they perceive what transpires between them. Though other people and circumstances may influence that relationship, it is primarily between the two of them. If I have a problem with the other part of the relationship I just go and try to straighten it out directly with them.

Spiritual Relationships

In the Kingdom of God this is not how relationships are supposed to work. In all ‘spiritual relationships’, whether it involves a husband and wife, parent and child or friend and friend, there should always be three entities involved in the relationship, not just two. And even the position of those three entities in the relationship is important.

In Kingdom relationships there will be you, the person you wish to have a relationship with, and God standing between you both. In other words you choose to never get any closer to one another than you are to God. If this positioning is wrong; the relationship will be wrong.

The Lord is not supposed to be on any side of you that places someone between you and Him. He is supposed to be between you and everyone else. This is the proper position to experience the most intimacy in any relationship. In this manner no one ever comes between you and the Lord and you do not come between them and Him. He is to always be in front of you with people.

Pushing God out of the way or not considering His will in order to get closer to the other person will result in distances being created between you and the one you want to get close to.

The simple secret to having strong, lasting, fruitful relationships in the Kingdom is to see that God stands between you and everyone you are in relationship with. If both parties in the relationship ‘place’ God between them, every interaction would have to go ‘through’ Him.

In other words I cannot say anything to you that doesn’t ‘pass’ through Christ. Whatever I do to you I have first done to Christ. Whatever you do to me is first done to Christ.

If I ‘install’ Christ between me and the other person I will be much more careful about what I say, knowing it will first be heard and felt by Christ. Trying to ‘go around God’ will only decrease intimacy not enhance it.

If you hear something from the other person and Christ is between you both, you will ask Christ what did he really say or… what did You hear?

We should look to see how it affected Christ not just pay attention to how it affected my own personal feelings. That is especially so when I don’t understand what they did or said, and even more especially, if what they are saying or doing is really hurting me.

If we really believed that Christ was standing between me and my friend, wife, etc., we would always be looking for Christ’s approval of what I did and said. I would always be checking Christ’s reaction first and if Christ heard or is seeing what I just heard or saw. I might work a little harder to hear what they were trying to say and not so quick to be angry and retaliate. (James 1:19)

The secret of our love and relationships with each other is that Christ stands between us and everyone else.

So my dear friends let us strive to be close and …. May the Lord stand between you and me forever.

Beginnings

2011-10-16T14:13:00.000-07:00

I began the first time, when, as a young man I first looked at the sea and realized it’s endless horizon was revealing something greater than just it's size.

When I noticed the trees were laboring to reveal something was moving them that I could not see, but like them …I could feel.

When starry nights spoke of time without end and made it clear there will be much in this life we do not and…. will not … ever understand.

I began again, when I was healed from the terrible shattering of my dearest dreams. Healed of the desolation of hope when the reality of death appeared in my child and unseen forces took my family away.

I began again, when all the fantasies I had so tediously gathered to accomplish worth, failed me and the utter uselessness of my life progressively stretched on. When all my fellow humans, not of their own accord, had left me utterly... alone.

I began again, when my wandering attention returned to the One; and the revelation of His fellowship and importance was once again reaffirmed in my life. When the sins I had so clearly seen and condemned in others revealed themselves …in me.

I began again, when I found Him being revealed in a people. When love became something other than feelings or words and became a practiced reality. When individuality became lost in corporate oneness and I was given another Body in which to live in.

I began again, this year, after seeing so much reality in other cultures and so little in my own. When all I felt important shrink in the light of whats really necessary. When seeing happiness thrive in impoverished places where I was told it could not.

I began again, yesterday, when my dearest friend was diagnosed with the threat of death; yet in his voice and writings I could sense …. belief and power. When, once again, through his suffering, I was challenged to believe that this present life is just training for the next.

Each time I have begun again, I have felt reborn. Each time came with the realization that a reincarnation had been going on in me.

Yet; all this takes place within a single lifetime, not many.

That we are born to die and be reborn into a more ‘enlightened state’ over and over again throughout our entire existence. Being recreated from glory to glory; being remade from strength to strength.

That though everything is beautiful in its time, He has put eternity in our hearts; therefore nothing temporal can completely satisfy.

The affairs of this life are but for preparing us to enjoy …the affairs of the next… when we all… shall begin again.

The Story of Naaman the Syrian

2011-09-23T12:11:00.000-07:00

While contemplating the up and coming Ingathering I was reminded to let Him prepare me for whatever He desired to do. Sometimes our ideas of how things should be get in the way of realizing God's will. I really want God's Spirit to have His way with us. Here is a story that illustrates that perfectly.

Naaman and Gehazi (Read 2 Kings Chapter 5)

This is an awesome story and without much effort we can find some wonderful truths contained in it. Naaman was a good man. He was a real ‘man’s man’. He was a famous and a respected national hero.

He had the admiration of his King, the love of his household, his servants, (even the captured servant girl from Israel liked him), the men he commanded and the gratitude of his country. God had mightily used him to conquer their enemy Israel. He was probably wealthy and as stated very highly respected. In his mind he seemed to have had it all with the exception of one problem. He had leprosy.

His wife’s servant girl suggested, quite on her own, an answer to her master's problem. There was a prophet in Israel who could heal him. One of Naaman’s good attributes was he could listen to people under him. You will see later it saved his life. After hearing the young slave’s advice he decided to check it out but being a man under authority he sent his request to the King.

The King of Syria loved the idea and sent a letter to the King of Israel to take care of his beloved general. The King of Israel, having no relationship with God, freaked out thinking the king of Syria just wanted an excuse to kill him. Elisha, who did have a relationship with God heard about it and sai; “Send him to me!”

Now this great and famous man really had two major problems. He could only see the more obvious one but God saw them both. His leprosy was not the main problem. His main problem was the spiritual leprosy within him....pride. For that would keep him from ever knowing the one true God. So God began to deal with both the leprosy and the pride.

Naaman rides up to Elisha’s house with great pomp and ceremony. He vainly imagined he knew just how God was going to heal him; and it would be glorious. Being a great man there needed to be a great healing. But God had other plans. He usually does.

As Naaman pulled up with all his entourage to Elisha’s house he waited for Elisha to come out and wave his hand over the great general and his God would send down from heaven a beam of glorious light containing his healing….or something like that.

So he waited for the great man of God to come out. And he waited, and waited, and waited.

Elisha doesn’t even come out. Adding injury to insult he sends his servant out to tell this great warrior to go take a bath. Not just one bath seven of them. Can you imagine how Elisha’s servant must have felt?

How would you like to go out and tell this man who conquers nations to go take a bath?

Naaman was furious. How dare this ‘hick’ prophet not come out and honor him. The rivers of Israel were but mud streams compared to the rivers of Syria. This is stupid. So off he goes totally irritated and indignant.

That could have been the end of the story and Naaman, but thank God for good friends. Naaman had some real friends in his servants. They risked his wrath and indignation to say …. “Hey; if the prophet would have asked you to do something big you would have done it, why not do what he says and see what happens?”

They knew about Naaman’s pride, but the great warrior listened to them.

Well, Naaman recants’ cause he’s not only a good man but a wise one to boot. Yet all he can bring himself to do is dip seven times in the Jordan. Not wash …dip. His faith is small but still; it’s enough. Several times while dipping, he probably looked at his servants and fellow soldiers as if to ask… “Are you sure about this?”

But the seventh time he dipped the proof that there was a man of God in Israel who knew the one true God and that God loved Naaman was manifested.

Filled with gratitude (and a little more humility) he returns to Elisha’s house and offers him a reward. He is clean inside and out. He has had an encounter with the living God. He got saved. Elisha says no thanks to the reward because Elisha really is a man of God. Real men of God don’t take money for things that God does.

Remember what Abraham said after rescuing the kings? (See Genesis 14:21-23) Hallelujah! He cares more about God getting glory than him getting rich.

Naaman has truly been converted; but he knows that he must go back and serve his heathen King. So he asked if would be alright if when his King went in the Temple to serve his false god if he could keep helping his king worship. What’s amazing to me is that Elisha says …. “Go in peace.” God never puts more on his new born children than they can bear. See (Acts 15:28)

But a double minded servant of Elisha’s by the name of Gehazi is plotting how he can “turn a few bucks” from this event. He figures serving God is ok but nothing wrong with making a few dollars in the process. He thinks no one will be the wiser anyway so he heads out to intercept Naaman.

Naaman sees Gehazi and stops. Being so happy and extremely grateful for his healing and revelation of God he gives Gehazi what he asks for.

When Gehazi returns he is greeted by his master with some terribly bad news …. “Gehazi you have broken my heart and defamed God”. Do you know where Naaman’s leprosy went? It was looking for another home and it has found you. Gehazi went out a little richer and full of leprosy. Should be a lesson somewhere in this for people who think serving God should also include financial gain. (1Peter 5:2)

Some great spiritual lessons really jump out at you from this story.

The first of which is our Father loves people who do the best they can with what they have no matter what they have done previously in ignorance. Naaman was a good man… just not a spiritual one. Much like Job who went from good to godly; Naaman was found by a God who was looking for him to fellowship with.

Secondly; our ideas of how God should help us can really be a hindrance to … God helping us. Best thing to do when we’re in need is to take what comes from God’s hand and not to question how it comes. Like the Syro-Phonecian woman who asked healing for her daughter and was called a dog. (See Matthew 15:26-28) We should always remember that God is after more than what we’re asking for Him for. He is always considering our eternal well being over our temporal feelings.

Third; You had better hope that you have surrounded yourself with people who care more about you than they care about how you feel about them. If Naaman’s servants had not have had the courage to risk his wrath and correct him, Naaman would have died in a leper colony.

Forth; Men in whom God entrusts His power to, are not in it for the money and them seeking it will ruin them. Godly men’s motivation should be to bring God glory not for God’ work to bring them money.

Fifth; Hanging around or even living with godly men does not ensure their godliness will rub off on you as Gehazi learned. And it’s foolish to think that God doesn’t see everything you do. Sometimes there’s a little Gehazi in all of us.

Hopefully we have included in the collection of our relationships a few of Naaman’s friends. More hopefully; we will listen when they speak to us. See you at the Ingathering!

Spiritual Aprons

2011-09-06T10:23:00.000-07:00

Whendid God’s 'servants' become ‘ministers’?

I wonder if it corresponds to the same time ‘servants’quit serving and started …. ‘Ministering’? I think the term Minister is all but ruined.It no longer carries the same meaning it did when Christ spoke it.

I am often amazed at the huge gap between theluscious fruit of first century Christianity ‘service’ to disciples andcontemporary Christianity’s ‘ministry’ to wax apples. Perhapssome of the answer lies in seeing the difference between first century Christian‘servants’ and present day Christianity’s ‘ministers’.

Haveyou ever looked up the original meaning of the word minister used in the NewTestament? It’s quite interesting.

Theword minister when used as a noun is … diakonos. (Strong’s #G1249). It comesfrom a word to describe someone who ran errands for others. It literally meansto be a personal attendant to someone or a waiter. When used as a verb it is …diakoneo. (Strong’s #G1247). It means to attend someone like a personal servant.

Waiter,servant, attendant; these are the words used to describe first century‘ministers’. That is according to the Strong’s Analytical Concordance, and it seemslike they ought to know.

Nowcontrast the picture of being a waiter, servant, or attendant as opposed to thepictures of religious leaders in Christ’s time (Think Pharisees or Sadducees)or the contemporary showmanship ‘Ministers’ we have today. Are the pictureseven remotely similar? I think not.

Whethertoday’s ministers are (or think they are) Apostles, Prophets, EvangelistPastors or Teachers, it seems they are giving us the exact opposite picture of whatChrist meant and what is scripturally portrayed.

Whereare the servants of Christ that boast in their loss of image?

To the present hour we bothhunger and thirst, and we are poorly clothed, and beaten, and homeless. And welabor, working with our own hands. Being reviled, we bless; being persecuted,we endure; being defamed, we entreat. We have been made as the filth of theworld, the offscouring of all things until now. (1Co 4:11-13)

Not much image enhancing stuff there. No special clothes, no special seats, no successful lifestyles, no special greetings either. Nothing that would impress anyone in the world at all.

Many,not all, but many contemporary ‘ministers’ today want to portray someone who isbig, important, loud, high and mighty.Especially the mega ones; though this tradition of pride is not limited to menwho oversee large or wealthy congregations.

Interestinglyenough big, important, loud, high, and mighty is a great picture of exactlywhat Christ taught us not to portray.

But Jesus called them to Himself and said, "You know thatthe rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and those who are great exerciseauthority over them. Yet it shall not be so among you; but whoever desires tobecome great among you, let himbe your servant. And whoever desiresto be first among you, let him be your slave— just as the Son of Man didnot come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom formany." (Mat 20:25-28)

Theword ‘great’ in verse 26 is … Megas. (Strong’s #G3173) It’s where we get theword Mega from; like Mega church, Mega church pastor, and Mega church building,etc. . . . It means; big, important,loud, high and mighty.

Theword ‘first’ or ‘chief’ in verse 27 is… protos. (Strongs#G4413) It means to beforemost in importance.

It isof note that Christ took the form of a slave or a servant; not big, important,loud, high and mighty. Instead of building up His reputation, He discarded it.We are told by the Holy Spirit to think and act the same way….

Let this mind bein you which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in theform of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men.And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedientto the point of death, even thedeath of the cross. (Philippians 2:5-8)

Thesecommandment destroying prideful traditions of men have been painfully evidentduring my stay in Kenya. Many preachers here have one goal in their minds…increase the numbers. They tryto do so by enhancing their personal image through; wearing the most expensivesuits they can afford, having rock concert, ear splitting volume while they preach, theatricsin their presentations, searching and hoping for bigger buildings, measuringtheir growth by how much money comes in, and hoping one day they would be recognizedon TV.

Theseare not the things Christ said His people or their leaders would or should be recognized by.

Ourcountry is not any different. In fact, I believe that most of these unscriptural traditions of men and the mindsets that produced them originatedin my country.

I amrelatively sure by now, there will be some saying…. that’s all nice, but that’sjust your own negative opinion!

Theyare partly right; it is my opinion and God can judge whether its negative ornot, but one thing is for sure; it’s not just my opinion. The scriptures teachthe same opinion.

Christ made it clear that He didn’t come hereto be served or enhance His image. He taught that the desire (much less theactions) to be ‘foremost in importance’ is wrong. If we follow Him, shouldn’tour mindset reflect His?

And whoever desires to be firstamong you, let him be your slave— just as the Son of Man did not come to beserved, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many." (Mat20:27-28)

"If the world hates you,you know that it hated Me before ithated you. If you were of the world, the world would love its own. Yetbecause you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, thereforethe world hates you. (John 15:18-19)

In fact didn’tChrist command us not to seek honor from men by wearing special clothes, takingthe best seats, and receiving acclamation from prestigious titles?

"But all their works they do tobe seen by men. They make theirphylacteries broad and enlarge the borders of their garments" .

Wearing clothes to testify oftheir importance.

"They love the best places atfeasts, the best seats in the synagogues,"

Having special seats at events andin church meetings that acknowledge their ‘position’.

"... greetings in the marketplaces, and to becalled by men, 'Rabbi, Rabbi."

Having titles that proclaim thedifferences between them and other disciples.

"But you, do not be called 'Rabbi'; for One is your Teacher, the Christ, andyou are all brethren. Do not call anyone on earth your father; for One is yourFather, He who is in heaven. And do not be called teachers; for One is yourTeacher, the Christ. But he who isgreatest among you shall be your servant". (Matthew 23:5-11)

Your servant. He said … the greatest shall be your servant;…. Like a personal attendant or a waiter serving food. This is how every‘minister’ should aspire to be seen.

Theonly special clothes Christ used and that was perfectly in harmony with His teaching was... a towel.

Jesus, knowing that the Fatherhad given all things into His hands, and that He had come from God and wasgoing to God, rose from supper and laid aside His garments, took a towel andgirded Himself. After that, He poured water into a basin and began to wash thedisciples' feet, and to wipe themwith the towel with which He was girded. (John 13:3-5)

So thenif we wish to be distinguished as true servants of God in our worship withother disciples, perhaps we should put on a towel; …. Or maybe an apron.

Do youknow what the 'servants' of God (the apostles) who were entrusted with the most importantmessage in earth’s history started out wearing?

Probablyaprons.

Theywaited tables… yep; they became waiters. Not a very image enhancing job. But itis one they would later say required big spiritual credentials to replace.

Then the twelve summoned themultitude of the disciples and said, "It is not desirable that we shouldleave the word of God and serve tables. Therefore,brethren, seek out from among you seven men of good reputation, full of the Holy Spirit and wisdom, whom we mayappoint over this business; (Act 6:2-3)

Theyweren’t up to being revered as ‘ministers’; … they became someone else’s servants orwaiters. They sure weren’t trying to enhance their ‘minister’ image.

When theyleft those tables and started serving mankind the food of Eternal Life theyserved them as waiters and ... were probably were still wearing their spiritual aprons.

Hope we're spiritual enough to do the same.

The Family of God

2011-08-08T08:50:00.000-07:00

It is amazing what mankind can accomplish and equally amazing what they cannot. Mankind can go to the Moon ...travel faster than any other animal...look up into the stars and down into the very building blocks of cellular life.....but they cannot (for any length of time) simply get along.

This is why our Master said ...when you find a people who love each other more than anything or anyone (even their natural family members) there is a good possibility they are His people.

“By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” (John 13: 35)

He also said to the world ...this is how you will know I am Gods answer (the anointed one) to the problems of the world.

Not by the amount of people filling the meeting places, not by the amount of money spent on "glorious buildings", not by the innovative programs that keep people busy, but by the demonstration of His family members loving one another. Christ really can bring us all together if we will but listen to Him and receive His new Life.

The story in Genesis reveals that all humanity was created to live together in unity and no one can escape the damage that happens when we end up alone. Children need other children being raised with the same mind and heart by parents who are together and demonstrating how humankind was and is supposed to live.

Women need other women everyday that they can cry with, pray with, suffer with, talk with. Men need other men to share their weakness's with and to be carried around in each other's hearts by men who will love them, nurture them, fuss at them, laugh and yes, cry with them.

The God who is called Love said “whosoever will” may come and be joined to Him. The organism He created for that union is the gathered people of God formed into the Body of Christ.

That is why ...before we seek anything that the Gentiles seek, family, provision for family, ministry, safety, security or anything, we should look for the place where the Kingdom (government) is revealed as the Body of Christ. If you find it ...it’s OK to forsake everything for it, sell all you have to possess it...abandon all for it.

If you are not sure it is the Body of Christ keep looking, but if you are sure; make haste to get there and be a part! Run there and throw yourself at the gate and beg to enter, for real Salvation exist inside their gates.

Remember that the Temple of living stones is the only place sacrifices are acceptable. An altar will be there that is worthy of you and your family to sacrifice their very lives to the Lord. Together they are the Zion of God and will one day be revealed as the New Jerusalem.

“ I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is you reasonable service” ( Romans 12:1)

“ And it shall come to pass that whoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved; for in Mount Zion and in Jerusalem shall be Salvation…” (Joel 2: 32)

Hope

2011-07-18T03:01:00.000-07:00

I hardly know what to write. There is so much going on in so many places it is difficult to try and take it all in. All of it is as the scriptures foretold it would be… life out of death, joy out of pain, peace out of confusion. Our whole existence is becoming other worldly and is only made sensible from a heavenly perspective.

The older I become the more I know there is a realm that no natural mind can penetrate, nor human understanding comprehend and none but those with spiritual eyes can see into it. What is more startling is that we get to live in it… now. The more we are brought by pain and suffering into that heavenly realm the less we will appear just “human”. Nothing we do or believe will be “normal”.

Yet all that we are and all that we stand for, rest on one single event in human history being true. The resurrection of Christ.

We who believe have risked everything on that being more than just a beautiful hope.

I have heard it said that even if none of the supernatural events surrounding Christ’s life really took place …. He was still a wise and good man, contributing more to humankind than any other.

With that I most ardently disagree and nothing could be further from the truth. I believe that if Christ was not raised from the dead as He foretold; then He was the cruelest of deluded human beings and we His followers have been sorely deceived into following His religious madness.

Paul the apostle agreed.

And if Christ is not risen, then our preaching is empty and your faith is also empty. Yes, and we are found false witnesses of God, because we have testified of God that He raised up Christ, whom He did not raise up—if in fact the dead do not rise. For if the dead do not rise, then Christ is not risen. And if Christ is not risen, your faith is futile; you are still in your sins! Then also those who have fallen asleep in Christ have perished. If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men the most pitiable. (1Co 15:14-19)

Hope is a wonderful gift. It is the lifter of sorrow, the great defense against despair. To those who have been warmed by its promises it is like the rising of the sun after enduring the cold chill of a dark and moonless winter night.

Yet if hope remains just hope, no matter how beautiful it appears or uplifting it can feel; it is immoral and degrading. Hope must, at some point, yield the realization of what that hope has promised or it is but a cruel, wicked enticement to continue in self deception.

Then the question must be asked… how can I know that hope can deliver what it promises? If I have to wait to see resurrection life till after I die, I don’t know if I could continue to believe hope’s promise while living in a world so full of disappointment and death.

But for us whose hope is rooted in faith… we needn’t wait.

I can see the promises of hope revealed in the resurrection life of Christ presently being revealed in His children. I have seen Aubry, Mary the priestess and even now Shammah showing it this side of the vale.

Watching my little Aubry receive the substance of resurrection life was incredible. It came before she left. That which is dreaded and comes to all men came not unto her. The fear of death and the unknown was never allowed in her hospital room for any of the four days of her passing. It was the beginning of our Father removing the fear of death in all of us in Geneva Florida. We got to actually taste the evidence of resurrection Life on this side of the vale. And that taste continues.

In the last 2 weeks, we have seen the horrors of “death and separation” defeated by Mary and her family who received in their hearts the same substance that Aubry did. I remember seeing it in Joy when Lynn left and seeing it again throughout the entire Village when Gamal crossed over.

Yet reading Shammah’s blogs and emails I see something of a progression in the revealing of what that hope has promised. More than even what I experienced in Aubry’s passing.

Our precious brother is not just enduring with courage the rigors of acute sickness and the threat of death and he has not just been delivered from the fear of death. By the hope of the resurrection of Christ he is ridiculing them.

Death has no hold on Shammah, no inevitability. Death’s ability to take captives has been conquered by faith in resurrection life and soon death’s power will be broken.

Oh, the benefits of following Christ; they are so immense and we are loaded with them. Hope in Christ can deliver not only from the fear of death but from death itself!

You have ascended on high, You have led captivity captive; …. Blessed be the Lord, Who daily loads us with benefits, The God of our salvation! Selah. Our God is the God of salvation; and to GOD the Lord belong escapes from death. (Psalm 68:18-20)

Crutches

2011-07-04T11:05:00.000-07:00

Paul lived on Christ: “For me to live is Christ.” Now, what might have been put afterward? For me to live is to be able to go to meetings! For me to live is to be able to have fellowship with other believers! If I am cut off from them I cannot live! If I cannot go to the meetings I cannot live! You can put in anything else: For me to live is to have encouragement in the work, to see results for my labors! You can cover a great deal of ground, if you are going to cover the ground of our demands in order to be triumphant. But Paul looked out, and he saw his work being injured, damaged, outwardly destroyed, his old friends being alienated and led to doubt and suspect him. Oh, he saw enough to take the heart out of any man at the end of such a life, but he did not say: “for me to live is to see my life work standing as a monument, intact; to have all my old friends faithful and around me; to know that my message has had universal acceptance and appreciation!” No! “For me to live is (when all these things, and many others, have gone) Christ!” T. Austin Sparks

Looking back at my journey with God I occasionally would be brought to such a desperate place wherein I would ask Him ….Why do You hate me so? I know that sounds dreadful, but it’s the painful truth. It was just so hard when I lost another friend, was abandoned by another family member or be completely misunderstood by people who really mattered to me.

That was especially true when I felt I was trying so hard to do all He asked me to do. Why did He have to make it so hard?

One after the other the things I “got by on” would be taken from me. The more I collected these little life preservers the more He would take them away. Finally the time would come whereby I would cry out ….I can’t go on! What do you want? I’m doing the best I can and I’m still sinking!

I would read the bible and wonder how the apostle Paul could keep going with the kind of persecution and heartache he endured. Then I would cry out … Lord, make me like Paul!

The reply from heaven was always the same…. I am. I didn’t make Paul like Paul; I made Paul like my Son and I did it the same way I'm making you like Him. You must learn to let my Son be your only security, your only strength, your all in all.

Once during one of those difficult times the Lord brought back an experience I had with my earthly father at a lake in Texas. I was six or seven and he had brought me to the lake to teach me to swim. He had already showed me the basics but I was still scared to try it on my own. I had my little floating device and felt secure going down to the water.

I was a little concerned when He told me to leave the floating device with mom and follow him. We came to a little four foot embankment that we stood on looking down at the lake. He asked me if I was ready to start and I said yes. Then to my utter shock he picked me up and threw me about 8 feet out into the lake! As I flailed around in the water he said... "swim!" I cried "I don’t know how... and I was drowning!" He just stood there. When I finally exhausted myself, I looked up pitifully and said while spitting out water…"Help!"

That’s when he said “Stand up”. I quit struggling and stood erect. I could stand! Then he looked at me and said... "Now swim back to the shore". I did so and have never needed another swimming lesson since.

The lesson that day wasn’t just how to swim; ….it was in learning to trust in my father’s judgment. He wouldn’t ever put me where I would drown; only where I think I might drown. I needed to focus on his command and let him worry about everything else. Another hidden revelation that my dad could be at my side in a split second. There was never a need to be afraid.

Now I am not advising this method of teaching the art of swimming to anyone, but it did teach me a very important lesson. I could do what my father asked me to do.

It seems we all start our spiritual walk thinking we are fully trusting in God and walking in faith.We don’t see the baby walkers we're using or the crutches we're leaning on. We continue that way till we take a hard fall or someone or something knocks us down. Then we begin to “flail around”, grabbing for those spiritual walking aids.

Those baby walkers and crutches can take the form of having faithful trustworthy friends always around, those special people who believe in us or at least believe in our good intentions. They can even be visions of the those“great things” I am going to do for God. They can be someone who I think will always be around and have leaned on for direction.

When a small child begins to walk a little, something to lean on often helps him overcome his fear of falling and gives him courage to stand up and walk. Even as an adult when we are injured our Father will let us use "spiritual crutches" till our wounds heal. But there will come a time for those who want to run that the "supports" must be taken away and how painful it can be when they are taken away.

How will you know if something is a crutch? Just let the Lord take it away in times of desperation. If you think you can't go on without it … it’s most likely a crutch. If He chooses to remove it... let it go.

When my earthly dad made me leave my floating device behind and threw me into the lake it seemed cruel. I could not have understood his motive by his actions. So it is with our heavenly Father. He may be taking away some those things we previously relied on.... but it's for a good reason. We won't drown; He’s not just being mean.

Heart and Sky

2011-06-24T23:48:00.000-07:00

The first and second photographs are actual pictures of an atmospheric phenomenon called a Fire Rainbow. They were taken from a jet 36,000 feet above the Atlantic Ocean back in 2009. I have been told that it is among the rarest of atmospheric events. When at home I later examined my pictures, I noticed the semblance of a dove in one of the pictures. The more I looked the more evident it became. The darker picture at the bottom is the same picture with one of my pigeon’s face superimposed over it. It doesn’t seem to change the original picture in the least. The original pictures were taken coming home from one of our trips to Kenya to minister to God’s people there. I now believe it was a small sign of His favor. May we never miss the divine artwork in the sky manifested to comfort and console those of us who labor on this earth. Upon seeing such visions of love let us follow our hearts to meet Him in the sky. For there he will teach us to love and change this tired earth. The words of the poem came last night while staying with our Kenyan family.

Heart and Sky

What wondrous things in heart and sky;

Are hidden far from careless eye.

Yet those who search with love and wonder;

Pierce the vale and rip asunder,

That which hides His Art.

For He who made both sky and sea;

Took our shame and made us free.

To hide away in deepest sea;

Things that kept you far from me,

And chilled our very heart.

Do we enjoy that lonely view;

That fear and pride gave me and you?

Should we not for deliverance cry;

To halt what stopped both you and I,

From seeing each one’s part.

Can we who have this wondrous birth;

Stop seeking answers from tired earth?

Should we all not now believe;

Forsake this flesh, caught up to leave,

From all that blinds our heart?

Ascend! Ascend! … the angels cry;

Be gathered here amidst the sky!

For it is Christ who like the dove,

Brings to you His saving love,

And illumines every heart.

Then shall we not see in every land;

The Artist work from His dear hand?

To marvel and dismiss each care;

By seeing Artwork everywhere,

Shall give this earth New Start.

Pastor Daniel and the Word of the Lord

2011-05-27T16:34:00.000-07:00

Last night a wonderful friend and brother came halfway around the world and spoke the Word of the Lord to all of us here in Rose Creek Village!

Now this wasn’t just any old person …it was our beloved Pastor Daniel from Kerala, India. We love Daniel. He is such a man of God and a huge inspiration to us. Every time he has spoken to us it has been absolutely wonderful. Not that it’s always comforting words of encouragement. Sometimes it’s a kick in the pants. Sometimes it’s both. Last night was no exception.

The last time Daniel addressed us it was in keeping with what we felt our Father was already saying to us… we need to go out. That we need to take this incredible Life we live and bring it to others. We totally agree.

Now it wasn’t as if we hadn’t been trying. The last three or four years we have literally been all around the world laboring to see what we are supposed to do and how to do it.

Currently we are sponsoring five small orphanages in India and one large orphanage in Burma. We have traveled to both of those countries to teach and help indigenous ministries located nearby while visiting the orphanages we sponsor.

We have established a church in Nakuru, Kenya and are being asked to bring what we’re doing to Uganda from two pastors in Uganda. One of those pastors named Wilberforce was in my house yesterday. We have traveled to Kenya extensively every year for the past 4 years or longer, visiting and building up our church family that is made up from the residents of the poorest part of Nakuru. Sometimes we are there up to four months out of the year spending our time living with and teaching the people in the church there. My wife and I with a team from the Village leave for Kenya June 15 for 3 months.

We have traveled to Mexico helping local missionaries Jason and Nichole Fitzpatrick, sending teams of young people for a two years. We are presently sending one of our biggest families to live there and help them long term. We have spent time in Liverpool, England to see if we should or could move there and gather people together. We have sent one of our brightest young men to train with Steve Saint, son of Nate Saint from the movie “The End of the Spear” to become a missionary pilot.

We have been to Providence, Rhode Island, Memphis Tennessee, Millington Tennessee, and taken a host of other smaller excursions across the United States. We currently have placed families in Sacramento, California, Memphis and soon to be in Millington Tennessee.

We provide a ministry to the elderly people in our town and we are helping families build their houses in Jackson and Selmer Tennessee…for free. We run a coffeehouse with the best sandwiches anywhere and all for the purpose of sharing our Life with others. Throughout the week there is offered an open forum for people to talk about life and God, a story time for the people of our town, and live music night Saturday evenings.We have always sent our talented young people to dance, play music all over the United States that people might see and taste what the Lord has been doing with us.

I mention all those things simply to say that we really do want to go out and we have been proving it by our actions over the past few years.

But when Daniel spoke to us this time that is not what he meant.. What he did mean is that every single one of us should find our purpose for drawing breath and be about preparing and doing what we were created to do. Whether that happens to be in the Village or around the world.

Drawing from the story of Caleb in the fourteenth chapter of the book of Joshua, Daniel spoke of three things that bringing this Life to others would entail.

The first is to know your mission. Caleb knew what God had for him to do and desired to do it when no one else wanted to. Even forty five years later. You need to know what God has given you to do.

The second was to wait on God while preparing and keeping yourself focused on being completely for that purpose. Caleb was as strong at eighty five as he was forty years later.

The third was to go with the blessings of your spiritual leaders. Caleb was under authority for he knew that all authority is from God. He would only move with the blessings of his spiritual leader.

What was utterly amazing to me and the other leaders here in Rose Creek is that was exactly what we have been struggling to communicate to the church here. No one had talked to Daniel about any of those things…with the exception of God. When Pastor Daniel spoke he even used some of the same expressions and illustrations we had used in talking to people earlier that week. We were greatly encouraged.

Everyone I’ve talked to loved what he brought. I had young people come up to me afterwards and tell me they were hesitant about coming but were so grateful they didn’t miss God.

I love the unity of God’s Spirit. It spans distance, time, culture, age and connects us to the most wonderful of people. That connection connects us to the mind of God who uses all who seek to have His mind.

Who is like our God?

Kingdom Conference 2011

2011-05-18T15:28:00.000-07:00

What a great Conference! The 2011 Kingdom Conference was wonderful and a lot of fun. We had visitors from 4 or 5 states attending. Our beloved friends from the Atlanta church came bringing much joy and encouragement. They are all growing so much in the Lord. Ron and Mary Ann Caliri came from Rhode Island proving love always wins. It was so good to see them and make plans for the future building the body of Christ together. David and Ari flew in from California to bring us great encouragement in what our God is doing there, my sister Dona and her friend Joan came from Kentucky, others came from different parts of Tennessee and a few from Florida.

After people arrived and settled in we began Friday night with a moving message from the grandson of Nate Saint. For those of you who might not be familiar with who Nate Saint is; he is one of men who died with Jim Elliot in Ecuador back in the 1950’s witnessing to the Auca Indians. Nate was their pilot. Their sacrifice touched the whole Christian world. Their story has currently been remembered through the popular movie “The End of the Spear”.

Steve Saint is the son of Nate Saint and the one who recently invented the only flying car registered with the FAA. You can learn about it by going to this link…. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZPnVZ45PPvA

Steve Saint' son Jamie Saint shared the first night of the Conference and blessed everyone, especially the young people. He spoke to them of boldly going after God and not missing the incredible Life Christ has in store for them. He spoke of his being born into a missionary family and growing up surrounded by godly people. He went on to describe his struggle to find out for himself the salvation of the Lord. He exhorted and encouraged all the youth to intentionally go after the Lord themselves. It seemed to really touch some of our teenagers who are in the midst of the same struggles. To see and hear Jamie, the third generation of “Saints”, serving God was truly inspirational.

The second day began with fellowship over coffee and homemade Gannah’s donuts. Talk about heavenly! We are sure going to miss all of Gannahs blessings not the least of which is her donut making. For those of you who don’t know Gannah, she and her husband Asher Horst with the rest of the family are heading for Mexico to serve with missionaries Jason and Nichole Fitzpatrick. God is really starting to send many of us out into the fields to co-labor with Him.

After the coffee and donuts I shared a few things the Lord had put on my heart the night before and then the discussions began. The men sat for an hour and a half discussing various topics pertinent to our common walk of faith. It was good hearing the different perspectives of our discipleship.

I’m not sure what the ladies were talking about but they sure were laughing and talking a lot. Some told me later they could have continued for another hour.

Later that evening Steven from Memphis told of what God was doing there, Britt Moony spoke an inspiring word we all needed to hear and the young people had a discussion group that all enjoyed. There was plenty more happening …special songs, a kids circus with skits, a youth band, a great Kaley (an Irish folk dance) good eats, and wonderful fellowship all over the Village.

Sunday we all gathered to worship the One who had blessed us with His heart and presence. People were touched, lives changed and all felt the blessings of being one family together in God.

After expressing our gratitude for the fullness in our hearts through song, many came forward to share. It was very, very good.

I would like to express my gratitude on behalf of the Church in Rose Creek Village for all who worked so hard seeing to it that everyone was well taken care of. From all the young men who worked so hard getting the tents up, the grounds taken care of, to all the adults who brought it together with the many meetings and discussions ….thank you.

Thank you Doug, Eric, Shalom, Eileen, Mala, all the food people and a host of others. May the Head of our many membered family bless you in accordance with all you have done.

Well that will have to hold me and Amma till we return from Kenya about the middle of September when we will look forward to seeing everyone again at the 2011 Ingathering!

A Letter to George

2011-03-11T07:23:00.000-08:00

Greetings to two of my most favorite people in the world!!! The Captain of Captains and his beautiful wife;

How are you doing and how is our wonderful little Michelle Haviylah? I hope the Lord of Host is giving you His peace and joy in all that you do.
One thing I know for sure is how much our Father dearly loves you. We too miss and love our family in Nakuru and wish it was already June. I know it's going to be a powerful and profitable time.

We are all doing well here and growing in the things of the Lord. Our May conference is coming soon and everyone is trying to get ready.

The title of the May Conference is ...."Where is God and What is He doing? We are going to do some exploring on how to know God's will. We will be discussing the need to love God and His people in order to understand what He wants us to do. God gave His only son for the world, but He gave His holy Spirit for the edification of His church. Only if you understand how much God loves His people will you be able to conceive of what He expects of us in this age.

How many of God's precious children have never known about His great love for His family here in the earth having never experienced it? Week in and week out they go to their meetings hearing sermons and teachings without ever feeling the love of their Father. Most think that they are doing God's will just listening to sermons and teachings without ever experiencing His awesome family's love.

Even those who do so never comprehend that our love and taking care of each other is the fastest way to receive the healing for our own spiritual wounds. We too have denied the Lord through such sins as gossip, listening to bad things against the Lord's children or our passivity toward discipling the nations. We have denied Him through our deeds. (Titus 1:16)

We need healing and forgiveness or our fellowship with the Lord will slowly diminish. The shame we feel (or should feel) will keep us apart from the Lord. Yet our Father has provided a way for us to be restored.

When Peter denied the Lord 3 times it left a terrible wound in his soul. He could barely look the Lord in the eye. When the Lord asked Peter 3 times if he loved Him it would have grieved Peter to the bone. Peter must have thought ....why does He keep asking me? Doesn’t He believe me?

Yet each time Peter replied it was followed by the Lord saying....Take care of my people! What was the Lord trying to say to Peter? The answer to the Lord's question is not in our saying we love him....it comes by loving Him through our love being expressed to His children.

The Lord was giving Peter the answer how he could be healed from the shame of his offense against the Lord. Feed my sheep.... Tend my lambs....Take care of my people! Then you will know that you really do love me and your wounds will be healed. May we all seek that healing…and may we all seek it that way.

Well this letter to both of you might turn into my next blog. Please continue to pray for the conference. I love you so much and cannot wait to be with you.

Much love and anticipation ….Your General

Dust

2011-02-10T11:08:00.000-08:00

Once, a British nobleman died and left behind a big castle containing priceless paintings. From time to time the public would be invited to come and see the beautiful artwork. One day a group of people were moving through the large rooms and admiring the paintings as they went. One elderly woman never spoke a word but would repeatedly go up close to each picture and examine the frame very carefully. After the visit, someone asked her what she thought of it all. "It was perfect," she said with enthusiasm. "I could not find a speck of dust anywhere." How often we miss the beauties of life because we are so intent on looking for faults. Someone puts it this way:

"There is so much bad in the best of us, and so much good in the worst of us, that it is not fair for any of us to speak against the rest of us."

There is nothing that blinds love so much as being judgmental. Like the elderly woman in the above story, I have spent far too much time looking for the dust and missing the beautiful works of art standing right in front of me. I think I’ve figured out why.

Most of us who follow Christ know not to throw out opinionated judgments on people because we don’t like, agree with or understand them. We have been commanded to love like Christ and as His children, that’s really what we want to do.

What usually trips me up is that if I see something or someone (I think) is amiss, I immediately determine it’s my job to correct them. So I begin analyzing, comparing, reasoning and formulating scriptural arguments to back up my future attempt to “fix the problem”. This may seem at the time very noble, but it will also remove my ability to see anything beautiful in them.

All I will see is the “dust on the frame”. Any goodness I might have seen is pushed aside because it will weaken my case against them thus prevent me from “fixing them”. This immediately puts the person in the position of being a possible opponent instead of a potential friend.

One of hardest lessons to learn is sometimes good people do dumb, bad, and selfish things and sometimes bad people do wise, good and compassionate things. Problem is I can’t see into their heart so I don’t know if the one standing in front of me is a good person or a bad one. God alone knows that, and many times He just doesn’t choose to tell me which one is which. He just directs me to treat every person I meet with the same mercy and patience I want them to show me. Sad to think how many beautiful pictures I’ve missed while looking at the dust on the frame.

I am sometimes so amazed at the power and revelation found in the statement; “I can only do what I see my Father do”. This statement is built on the old testament truth that states… “Unless the Lord builds the House they who work, work in vain and unless the Lord guards the city they who watch, watch in vain”. Christ never worked in vain and neither will I if I’ll take the time to figure out whether this is my business or not. This will be infinitely easier if my goal is to see the picture and not look for the dust.

We should never just assume that this person, church service, bible study, mission work has been put in front of me to correct. Yet we must always assume that those things placed in front of me are for me to reveal Christ and His wonderful love.

The real question is not whether or not something is misguided, left out, or even downright wrong… The real question is …whether God is doing anything about it at present and does God really want my help?

If it isn’t time and He’s not doing anything, then leave them alone, step back and look at the picture and try to find something more than just the dust on the frame.

A Contemporary Psalm by a Contemporary David

2011-01-24T11:54:00.000-08:00

Psalm 3

O beloved Father; Lord of heaven and earth;

You, who are the same from age to age …is our money all you really need in this hour? Is that what we should be sacrificing our lives and the lives of our children for? Is this how you desire us to advance the Kingdom of Your beloved Son in this wretched materialistic age? Should we make it our chief ambition to chase after “good paying careers”? If I were to listen to the voices of the so called “shepherds” of this age I would believe it so.

Yet, if that is so; why did You initially choose the poor of this earth to be rich in faith and heirs of your Kingdom? Weren’t they, and not the rich, who You chose to turn this world upside down? Didn’t they do that with a devout faith and a shared life; and not “silver and gold”?

Have things so changed when you moved your beloved apostle James to speak…

“Listen, my beloved brethren: Has God not chosen the poor of this world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom which He promised to those who love Him? (James 2:5)

Has Bill Gates, Hugh Heffner, Madonna and Oprah become our new role models for saving the world? If our gift to the world is the same as these “do whatever it takes to make money” people, where does the glory for Your work go? Mammon?, Fame?, Prestige? If you still choose the poor of this earth; should they then go out and get “financially secure” to advance that same Kingdom ? Wasn’t it you who said … “Not by might or by power but by my Spirit”? Shouldn’t your Kingdom be different?

Isn’t it still by faith not finance that your Kingdom grows?

When I consider the history of your chosen ones throughout the last 2000 years, they seem to validate the principals and ideals which were first written to the gathered people in Corinth. Remember what You spoke to Your beloved “nothings” in the city of Corinth….

“Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men. For you see your calling, brethren, that not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called. But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty and the base things of the world and the things which are despised God has chosen, and the things which are not, to bring to nothing the things that are, that no flesh should glory in His presence.” (1 Corinthians25-29)

It wasn’t the rich and powerful you used to topple men’s arrogance and bring them to heaven, …. it was the shared Life of the “nothings”.

The Kingdom's powerful advances that shook the world two thousand years ago were accomplished by the scorned poor of this world; not the favored rich.

If the love of money is the root of all evil, does wanting it for the right reasons sanctify the pursuit of it? Should we now pray to You to become rich and powerful… for the “right reasons” ? Haven’t you always chosen the weak, the base, even the despised to bring down the proud, rich, powerful, noble men of this earth? Isn’t that still how You do things?

Have we exchanged the “foolishness of God” for the foolishness of men?

O Lord you put the rich and powerful in their place by doing extraordinary things Your own way….the way of faith and sacrifice by your people. When Your people moved in Your “foolishness” the world saw clearly Your hand in everything your people did. The earth was blessed by sharing in the shared Life of our faith, not our checkbooks.

It presently could be said that “Madonna”, has the same ministry as most contemporary churches. But building hospitals, orphanages, schools, just takes money…not faith.

And aren’t we supposed to make disciples of the surrounding nations? And doesn’t that take someone demonstrating the Life of Jesus Christ not just writing a check. We should be careful not to just make the world a better place to go to hell from. Nothing good has ever come of us replicating the way the world accomplishes its goals. Even if those intentions are good and successful.

Your Kingdom is advanced by the sacrificial deeds of your people…. not the bank accounts of “wealthy Christians”. The rich were humbled by the glory of those sacrifices. The noble were bowed by the love of the ignoble and no flesh ever gloried in your presence.

Why now are those sacrifices being replaced with financial planning and money brokering? Those precious poor, base and despised people, shook the whole earth by the sacred shared, Life they offered mankind. The power of mammon waned as the your wisdom grew evident. The problems of the earth could be eased and the soul prepared for eternity by love and sharing; not investments and financial planning.

It’s not as though I don’t rejoice to see the poor helped. I have felt the longings of the sick needy. I have seen their needs and heard their desperate cries for help. I have been with them when death tried to steal their family members for not having medicine costing less than one American fast food lunch. I cannot but hope that each and every one of those needs will be met; no matter how or where it comes from.

Yet meeting those physical requirements cannot meet the needs of their eternal soul. The needs of their soul cannot be met by the most charitable acts of unbelievers or even by half hearted financially well off Christians. Those needs cannot truly be touched unless they are touched by the sacrificial giving of the lives of those who live inside Christ and can say with Peter..."silver and gold have I none but such as I have I give you."

Lord; I pray you bless those who have no other way to give of themselves except financially. Yet teach them to give out of their life and not their excess. Teach them to give their lives away as they give of their resources. May they see that you do not need their money but their lives. That you are not impressed by how much money they gave, but how much of their lives went in to the offering. Like the beloved widow in the temple that day.…

Now Jesus sat opposite the treasury and saw how the people put money into the treasury. And many who were rich put in much. Then one poor widow came and threw in two mites, which make a quadrans. So He called His disciples to Himself and said to them, "Assuredly, I say to you that this poor widow has put in more than all those who have given to the treasury; for they all put in out of their abundance, but she out of her poverty put in all that she had, her whole livelihood." (Mark 12:41-44)

Lord of heaven and earth; may in these last hours You raise up a people who are willing to become poor enough to be chosen to become rich in faith. Let them hasten the complete return your Kingdom …not by influence or wealth …but by your Spirit in your devoted disciples. May the wisdom of a sincere faith and a shared Life appear once again and shake the earth one last time before you return.

And let us be named among those blessed ones who get to do the shaking. Dear Lord of all; may your Kingdom come to this earth in its fullness as it has so fully come into our hearts.

Waves In An Ocean

2010-12-20T11:18:00.000-08:00

A little wave was bobbing along in the ocean, having a grand old time. He's enjoying the wind and the fresh air—until he notices the other waves in front of him, crashing against the shore. "My God, this is terrible," the wave says. "Look what's going to happen to me!"

Then along comes another wave. It sees the first wave, looking grim, and it says to him, "Why do you look so sad?" The first wave says, "You don't understand! We're all going to crash! All of us waves are going to be nothing! Isn't this terrible?" The second wave says, "No, YOU don't understand. You're not a wave, you're but part of the ocean." From Tuesdays With Morrie By Mitch Albom

The above story illustrates a kind of destructive mindset in God’s people. Left unchecked it can be very misleading and even harmful to the Kingdom of God. What do I mean? Well; sometimes we who are part of the Kingdom of God can begin to take on an “independent identity” other than just being but a part of the Kingdom of God.

Like the little wave who forgot his true identity of being part of a vast ocean and decided that he would now be defined by the energy passing through him, so we too forget who we are when the Spirit passes through us and begins to accomplish some vibrant ministry by us. We forget that our identity comes from being "a part of Christ" and not from what we do for Him.

I have lived my entire adult life working to see the realization of the corporate life of Jesus Christ as it was first seen in the book of Acts. The road has been costly and arduous but unbelievably rewarding. I believe we have come to understand, in a very small measure, the Abundant Life that Christ talked about. That Life lived corporately with people who love each other, can yield 100 times whatever you had to leave behind in order to follow Him. See (Mark 10:29-30).

But that is not the subject of this post.

After living for over 20 years in a corporate existence and thinking I knew what we would be doing in the future, I am beginning to see a new thought emerge concerning ministry. At first it was scary.

I had mistakenly thought we would spread out all over the world and replicate this Life we have been living for the past 20 years. But, alas, that will probably end up just a small part of what we will do. I rather think we will be helping other people accomplish their ministries. For I have come to see we are just a small part of a much larger picture...an ever growing picture being painted by Christ.

Never the less I had become so convinced that duplicating our way of life would be our life’s work, I took on that work as my identity. It became me. Slowly, like the little wave, my identity became what the Spirit was doing with us ….not who He was in us.

Again, like the little wave, these revelations don’t come until you see your end, or at least the seemingly coming end of your identity. Those revelations usually have to come from the “other little waves” moving with you and wondering why you look so grim. Why are they asking me why I look so sad? Don’t they see the shoreline ahead?

They have to remind you that you and your ministry’s demise are but the release of God’s will for someone else’s life and ministry to grow.The shoreline may dissipate your energy but it will never dissipate you. Yet even knowing all that.... it still can be very frightening. But the terror of your end will be dwarfed (if you listen to the other little waves) by the knowledge of being a part of that Ocean. That Ocean is Christ.

And; don’t be too afraid of letting it all go… there is a lot more Energy in that ocean that made that little wave ….and its headed our way. I just hope we can let it that energy pass through us and not let it define us. We are not the wave we're the Ocean!

A Declaration of Intent and Failure

2010-12-13T14:54:00.000-08:00

Confessions of Christmas Shopping Loser.

(Based entirely on a true story)

Dear Wife…Once again I have failed in the attempt to purchase anything for you this Christmas; though it is not for the lack of trying. I have spent long grueling hours seeking to crack the mystery of what you might possibly want or possibly need. I asked the appropriate people, who staring blankly into the air, said they had no idea, and left me with a growing sense of doom. I even did that which I solemnly vowed never to do again…. Attempt shopping with those other poor souls who have waited for the last possible moment to purchase that one thing they could never find till late Christmas Eve. So I set out to go with a fellow procrastinator in search of what we knew we would never find.

We entered the store amid the faint sounds of what appeared to be the bleating of sheep being led away to slaughter. The noise grew to a chorus of wailing and gnashing of teeth that completely neutralized any Christmas music wafting through the store. I realized with a growing sense of dread that something was terribly wrong. I cannot tell you the abject horror that comes over you, when surrounded by scores of fellow CSLs (Christmas Shopping Losers) and amidst tens of thousands of brightly colored do-dads, that were left after being picked over by successful shoppers, you begin to realize your hopeless fate. No one even dared to look at each other for fear of seeing in their eyes the guilt and shame that came from being at Kmart on Christmas Eve. So we all just aimlessly walked up and down the aisles moaning and anguishing over our destiny to become Christmas Shopping Losers. Up and down the aisles over and over again looking at the same old dumb stuff till you would give twenty dollars just to find a place to sit down to relieve the pain in your legs. The suffering was rampant everywhere. There were grown men with blank stares wringing their hands crying ….Anything! Anything! There were women with dark circles beneath their eyes, clutching their purses and leaning on the empty shelves muttering …it’s gone, it’s gone. One old gentleman sat in the middle of the home appliance section muttering to himself ….I can’t go home…where will I live …where will I go? Every so often someone would stop, look down at the floor, utter a small groan, grab something off the shelf and shaking his head begin the humiliating death march to the long checkout lines. It was at that moment, while walking alongside other Zombie looking humans who shared the same mental delusion that we could actually find something in K mart on Christmas Eve that it came to me! This is hopeless… utterly and completely hopeless … I must give up this self induced torture and surrender to the reality that there is nothing here for me to buy…. it just doesn’t exist. I quickly grabbed some deodorant and other non Christmas items and made my getaway, trying to appear in the checkout line as if this was my original purpose in coming to this modern rendition of Dante’s Inferno. Safely in the car I waited for my fellow procrastinator and prayed he would make it back.

So I have come up with this; that I shall, as penitence, serve you the rest of my life and promise you that any week end that you choose, I will take you…anywhere you want, with anyone you want and do whatever you want. May this offering somehow atone for my sins.

Merry Christmas from a Christmas Shopping Loser ….your devoted husband.

God Doesn't Care!

2010-11-26T09:37:00.000-08:00

Much of my Christian life has been spent being troubled about things I earnestly thought God cared about. I suspect I'm not alone. We seem to be master craftsmen in making the proverbial opinionated molehill into a doctrinal mountain. Yet the older I get the more I am coming to the conclusion that there is a lot of our cherished opinions that God doesn’t give a rip about.

Because of His ever unfolding marvelous Grace, I am beginning to see there are many things that God really doesn’t care about; and tragically I have. There is hope though; … old dogs can learn new tricks. So I am going to give you some of the benefit of my very gray hair and over 40 years of trying to know and follow God. Take it or leave it. God doesn’t care.

First of all; here are some of the molehills that I now believe are much like “rearranging the deck chairs” on the Titanic.

Molehill # 1…

At the top of the list is religion. Now I don’t mean the real thing….like taking care of people who need help or staying away from the defiling things of this present darkness.

“Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world.” (Jas 1:27)

Nor do I mean there is any other way to the Father except through the Son. I do mean…things like… I believe this over you believe that.

If God truly looks on the heart and not the outside, then what we say about what we believe, has little to do with what we actually believe. What we do on the other hand is the only true indicator of what we actually believe.

“…for not the hearers of the law are just in the sight of God, but the doers of the law will be justified;….” (Rom 2:13)

Who cares if your beliefs are biblically correct yet you never walk them out. God doesn’t care.

"But what do you think? A man had two sons, and he came to the first and said, 'Son, go, work today in my vineyard.' He answered and said, 'I will not,' but afterward he regretted it and went. Then he came to the second and said likewise. And he answered and said, 'I go, sir,' but he did not go. Which of the two did the will of his father?" They said to Him, "The first." Jesus said to them, "Assuredly, I say to you that tax collectors and harlots enter the kingdom of God before you. (Mat 21:28-31)

Do you actually think He will be more merciful to you because you are a believer and yet have never obeyed Him than the pagan who never heard of Christ and did the best he could with what he intrinsically knew about God?

“…because what may be known of God is manifest in them, for God has shown it to them. For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead, so that they are without excuse,…” (Rom 1:19-20)

Christ came to bring a new Life not a new religion. Samaritan, Jew, Baptist, Catholic, or Home Churcher; if you ain’t doing it; it’s worthless.

Molehill # 2…

How about holidays? …A Evil Halloween, A Merry Christmas, and A Happy (hiccup.) New Year. People pick on Halloween because of it’s association with their childhood fears and superstitions. I know …I wrote small booklets on the evils of every Holiday, especially Christmas. Bah Humbug!

Tell me …which greaves God’s heart more…Halloween with its scary black cats or what happens on New Year’s Eve? Are there more scriptural vendettas against greed, drunkenness or …ghosts?

Truth is that what Christians do on Christmas and New Years Eve grosses God out far more than all the black cats, ghost and devils with red tails combined. This is not a rant against Holidays. Let each man or woman be fully convinced in his or her mind what they should do with holidays… or anything else for that matter…it all belongs to us. God doesn’t care. It’s what we do with it that matters.

Molehill # 3…

How about how you worship? I used to be so uncomfortable going to other churches because they don’t “worship” the way I do. I asked a good friend and pastor in India about the difference in the way he approached worship and the way we did. He was raised in a Charismatic church and that wasn’t my experience. He smiled and said… “I like my food spicy you don’t.”

Light begin to pour in as I contemplated the wisdom in His reply. My friend was an East Indian and liked his food so spicy if I ate it you would have to call the paramedics. I on the other hand liked mostly bland meat and potatoes. When he ate at my house we could never quite “spice it up” enough for him.

Since that conversation I have worked at not thinking that different isn’t necessarily wrong. I am actually coming to enjoy different modes of worship and praise. (I also like my food a lot more spicy). Truth is God doesn’t care. If the worship is coming from the heart and is backed up by a life that is no different on Sunday than it is on Monday… God enjoys it. Get over it …God doesn’t care.

These are just a few of the molehill opinions that I turned into mountain sized doctrines. It is so easy to become a “corrector of the foolish” while becoming an enlightened fool.

I heard a saying the other day I really liked. It went…

“As no roads are as rough as those that have just been patched, so no saints are so intolerant as those that have just been enlightened.”

It probably would be real good if we waited a few years to form those hard fast opinions about “what we think God likes and dislikes”. Time has a way of making you more tolerant.

Anyway I feel so much lighter having turned the burden of straightening out the world and His church back over to God.

Hope you have some wonderful Holidays and enjoy them …and at the very least;... don’t make them miserable for others.

David Noah

2010-10-15T13:27:00.000-07:00

The God of Eden and My Second Salvation

A Story of my walk with God

I love walking with the non-religious God of Eden. He is the One who found me and spoke to my heart so many years ago. He found me, rescued me and continues to deliver me, to this very day, ….from my vain and religious imaginations.

This is the story of my second great deliverance; when He rescued me from religion. I understand, now; He just wants to walk together and be with me. This walk is to be up the narrow garden path of loving others and not down the highway to self importance and accomplishing great things. He desires fellowship; not religious observances. A contrite heart; not sacrifices. He is the God of Eden.

When He found me the first time, He delivered me from the power of sin. The second time He found me, I was in a much greater danger. When He found me that second time He rescued me …from me. This is that story.

My First Salvation

All was dark when I saw Him the first time; for my heathen eyes had adjusted to living in the half light of my excuses. Looking upon Him caused my eyes to burn, never having seen such loving and truthful brilliance. I had heard of Him rescuing the prisoners of sin, but somehow I never imagined He would come for me. I thought I knew all about Him because of all the opinions I had heard from others. I have since learned that’s the very reason I could never see Him.

When He appeared that first time, I asked Him what He required of me; He grew strangely quiet and said nothing. The impression suddenly came that I didn’t know what I was asking. It would take many years before I could understand that silence, and the sadness that crossed His face that day. I would need to go through much more life to grasp why my questions had troubled Him so. Yet the reasons were simple enough.

Even while being delivered from the grossest of my sins, I didn't trust Him and still thought I could do something good. The source of my confidence remained somewhat unchanged; it was still in me. For the poisonous fruit of that other tree in the center of the Garden was still coursing through my veins.

That first time our eyes met He simply said; “follow Me”… and so I did.

As I began to follow, I continued to ask where we were going and what we would be doing; … each time I felt that same corrective silence. Somehow I knew the answer to all my questions would be found only in just remaining near Him. It was in that blessed silence I heard Him first speak so deeply to my heart saying …I am where We are going and I am what We are doing.

We… I remember… He said We; …. I have learned to love that word.

Over the years walking together I grew to love Him. The more we walked together the more I knew His love had produced that response in me. While at His side, I grew to fear nothing but our fellowship being interrupted. There was nothing in heaven or earth better to do than to listen to the sound of His footsteps and follow Him. Even when I couldn’t see Him I could hear those footsteps. I felt I had grown wings and could fly.

I loved following Him and became thrilled at not knowing where we were going or even what we would do when we arrived. My terrible companions of loneliness, boredom, passivity and indifference that had followed me all of my life were gone. Life had become a wonderful and exciting adventure.

It was enough just to be with Him. The more we walked, the more I knew His thoughts and feelings. They were at the same time terrifying and wonderful; for they were always absolutely true. And I grew to hunger and thirst for all of them.

To feel His great heart was to understand what the world had lost so long ago in that lovely garden; and the reason all men act the way they do now, … without it.

I also understood, just a little, why at present, we are so unprepared for the complete presence of His pure love in our own hearts. Why we must undergo constant baptisms of fire to keep that terrifying and wonderful burning love from destroying us. The purging power of His jealously can sometimes become terrifying and can be very hard to understand. I was in Him and His love was in me, yet even so; …it burned.

My Second Salvation

As we walked along together enjoying this awesome unbroken fellowship, others would come and begin to follow. At first they would imitate my footsteps as I tried to imitate His. For they could not see Him but saw my happiness and greatly desired to have it. This only lasted for a short time; because very soon, they began to hear His footsteps and see Him for themselves.

The others and I began to walk in perfect harmony with each other. We were free from the bondage of that horrid self awareness that came from that other tree. We were aware only of the sound of His footsteps and each other. Our shared Life had become abundant.

They too felt the wonder of His presence. Because we walked with Him we knew each other better than we knew our own fathers, mothers, sisters, brothers or even our own selves. Somehow, the more we grew to love and follow Him, the more we loved each other and began to see what each other could become. Love gave us insight into one another.

Things continued in this lovely way for many years. Then it happened.

One day we became distracted with the way some of us were walking and decided they needed correction. The others and I began discussing how we might improve their walk. Our desire was earnest, our expectations of helping them were great.

Yet the more we considered and discussed what we should do, the slower we walked. We couldn’t see that we were falling out of step ourselves from the innocence of listening for His steps and the discipline of simple trust. Soon we were no longer listening for His footsteps or following Him at all, but making short stops to plan how to better follow and serve Him. It became harder and harder to hear His footsteps and catch up.

Once again, as in the terrible days after The fall ….Religion was born.

Not simple following with fellowship, nor the spontaneous adoration and praise that arose as we walked together, but strange ideas of sacrifice and what we imagined He might want from us. We began tripping over each other and discussing whose fault it might be.

Some of us remembered where we had been and tried to figure out where we were going next. Others wrote a detailed book about our journey hoping to help stragglers avoid what we had deemed as our mistakes. Some ran ahead, never to be seen of again. Some completely stopped and built great inspirational monuments to the path we were on.

It was then we began to notice all our differences. The specter of self awareness appeared once again and began to manifest his evil fruit as we began comparing ourselves with ourselves. It wasn’t long before we were trying to see which one knew the most. We started discussion groups about the need of taking different paths suitable to our differing perspectives.

That’s when we noticed; … He was gone.

Soon a stranger appeared that looked a lot like Him who we once followed. He began telling us we should follow him; and that we had better keep up. He spoke of great things to be done and of finding out once and for all whose interpretation of the book was correct.

Suddenly we could no longer see each other. The darkness that had called itself light became great. So in terror we ran. But the faster we ran, the darker it grew, till we had completely exhausted the last of our joy. Soon we collapsed being completely blind and wretched. Then in that great lonely darkness we wept bitterly. We had not only lost our joy, but our very souls …. again.

As we wept in the stillness of that sadness ….we heard His footsteps. He had returned!

The first thing he did was to drive the stranger away by the light coming from his face. That light hurt our eyes as well. Then He turned and once again asked us to follow Him. No one asked where we were going. No one asked what we would be doing. We just wanted to hear His footsteps and follow Him.

As our eyes slowly adjusted to the light we put away our sacrifices, worship services, study guides, tithes, ministries, church meetings and pride that had unknowingly become such heavy burdens. Then He removed the chains from around our necks that we had forged from our religious pride and began once again slowly, to follow Him. In returning and rest we followed Him. The sound of those footsteps became our strength and confidence … once again.

Soon we could see each other, but only as we looked steadfastly at Him. From that day till this, should anyone start to slow down and discuss how we might walk this walk better, everyone stops and gets very still. Then through the silence and tears, laughter and light break out… and we all say together….Listen for the footsteps!

Resurrection

2010-10-08T14:04:00.000-07:00

Here is a letter written by Shammah, my favorite biblical scholar, to a question that arose from a recent teaching I did on resurrection. Part of the question asked was if I had contradicted myself concerning my saying that we would be judged by what we do and not what we think. Earlier in the teaching I said that we would not be saved if we failed to believe Christ was raised from the dead. I liked Shammah's answer so much I wanted everyone to read it. It is printed in its entirety and worth the read. Here it is....

Dear-----
Sorry I couldn't get to this earlier. I was in Memphis today.The answer to this question, if it was thorough, would have to be really long. However, here's the short version.

1. Yes, there's a little bit of a contradiction there. Not a complete contradiction, but there is a contradiction.
2. Very little about spiritual things is absolute. In other words, things that are generally true tend to be almost always true, not always true.
3. There's a difference between being saved here and being saved on judgment day.

Let me explain.

On the last day, when we face God, the Bible teaches that we will be judged by what we do, not what we think.

The Bible also teaches that humans are fallen. We've inherited a tendency to sin--a sin nature that lives inside of us--from Adam.

Thus, we need two salvations. We need to be saved on judgment day, but in order for that to happen, we must first be saved here. If we are not saved here, our sin nature will drive us--or at least most of us--to live lives that will result in our being condemned at the judgment.

Belief in the resurrection is part of being saved here. It's right at the core of what compels us to believe in Jesus. He's "proven to be the Son of God by the resurrection from the dead" (those words poorly paraphrased from Romans 1, but the thought is accurately quoted).

Jesus empowers us to overthrow our sin nature. He frees us from being the race of Adam, and he births us anew as a new human, spiritual and alive in God.

Thus, belief in the resurrection does have to do with salvation--the salvation we experience here so that we can live a life that produces the good deeds that will go before us to the judgment.

RESURRECTION

Since the apostles were appointed by Jesus specifically to be witnesses of the resurrection, I'd recommend finding modern witnesses of the resurrection. Abba referred to the strongest evidence of the resurrection there is: the apostles.

It has always struck me that Jesus was able to live with 12 men, training them and traveling around with them, for 3 years, and at the end of those 3 years, they believed he was God.

Who could do that?

They believed he was raised from the dead. They claimed to have seen him. Pretty much all of them were put to death for their belief. Not one of them fell away or denied him.

Contrast that with Joseph Smith, who started the Mormons. He got 9 people (I think that's the right number) to sign as witnesses that they had seen the golden plates from which Joseph Smith had translated the Book of Mormon. However, before they died, more than half of them (6, I think) had recanted their testimony.

None of the apostles did.

The apostle Paul is a 13th one. He was a witness of the resurrection, but he saw Jesus years after the others.

He was whipped, beaten with rods, stoned, imprisoned, over and over again.

He never stopped claiming that he'd seen Jesus Christ risen from the dead and that his whole life was based on that moment.

That's what convinced me at first. It made me say, "Jesus is alive, he's really the Son of God, and I'm going to have to change my life to conform to his wishes."

When I made that decision with conviction in my heart, the Holy Spirit descended on me, and my whole life transformed.

I want everyone else to make that decision. I want everyone else to receive the Holy Spirit and have fellowship with God. I don't want you or anyone else to be satisfied with something else--something mediocre like reading the Bible and being good.

I'm okay with you questioning yourself and being messed up some. Go after belief. Tell God you want something more. Tell him you want a conviction of spiritual things that is deep down in your very bones, placed there by the Holy Spirit.

The Scriptures say, "If you, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those that ask him."

Never be satisfied with something less than greatness. Don't ever confuse greatness with being famous. Housewives, janitors, and homeless people can be great. Greatness is found in wisdom, and Jesus Christ is wisdom. I want him to live in you, and I want you to have a wisdom that comes from him.

"In all your getting, get wisdom," said Solomon.

There is a promise not just that God will give the Holy Spirit to those that ask because he is a good Father, but it is also promised that those who seek will find. In the seeking, you prove yourself worthy to receive the treasure. In the giving of yourself to obtain, you prove yourself worthy of possessing.

So, on a less lofty and more earthy note, I suggest you look at the evidence of the resurrection, and that you think about what the resurrection says about Jesus. He overcame death. Nothing can hold him, and he has promised to forgive the sins and transform the lives of those who receive him ... who forget their old lives and follow him.

"Listen, oh daughter! Consider, and incline your ear. Forget your own people, and your father's house, for so the King will greatly desire your beauty. Worship him, for he is your Lord" (Ps. 45).

Shammah

Thank you All

2010-09-22T11:34:00.000-07:00

God’s Shield
To all the much loved Watchmen, who spend their time in prayer;

Who by their faithful time and love, keep us in God's care.
Your time is never wasted; your tears have reached the Throne;
He sees your heart and heard your cry, so we are not alone.
Don't ever be disheartened and to this work please yield;
For we who fight could not prevail, if not covered by God's Shield.

This post is dedicated to all the wonderful people who faithfully covered us in prayer during our trip to our church family in Nakuru, Kenya. I know I speak for all of us… Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! Our great Father has heard all of your prayers and answered them with His amazing grace.We have passed through some very difficult and dangerous times only to see, once again, all things working in harmony for our good and the advancement of His Kingdom.

We acknowledge His hand in the selection of our TNT (Tennessee Nakuru Team) team members. Amy (Sister Rose) and Noah (Bob Meeller ) were wonderful in their work with the Kingdom Hikers and at being servants here in our Kenyan home. They cooked, cleaned, shopped, took pictures, shared their testimonies, kept Michelle Haviylah (Sticky Fingers) occupied, dodged roaches in the night and did so without any complaints. Blessings to their God, parents and Village that helped them do so.

Joy was just that. A complete Joy. She brought light and compassion everywhere we went. Her tears washed many a tender heart. She took good care of Amma and I and even filled in for Mala’s most revered ministry, the blessing of the feet of those who share the good news.

Amma is becoming an international Mother. Her motherhood spans two continents now with hundreds calling her Amma (mother) from their hearts. One of the highlights of this trip was a women’s meeting in which Amma and Joy spoke of nurturing all of God’s daughters not just your own. All the women attending were visibly moved when they left. The impact will be felt for years and years to come.

I personally have learned so much from both the situations we found ourselves in and watching the lives of our brothers and sisters here in Lakeview Village Church. Together we lived through full scaled riots, deaths, hostile funerals, threats, spiritual attacks, intense spiritual battles and internal strife among brethren.

Yet today we can fully say we have become more than conquerors through faith in Christ. He is being lifted up and drawing people to Himself through the church in LakeView.

Our Father has moved mightily among the youth here through the Kingdom Hiker meetings, while a revival is raging back home among the youth in the Village. I believe it is because our young people are overcoming at home that we are prevailing among the young people here in Nakuru. In an email from one of the young ones back home being curently filled with His Life ….

“You're going to be surprised when you meet the new people that have taken the place of the young people here. Better brace yourself when you come home, because this Ingathering is going to knock you off your feet.” Love you so much Donna”

During this trip we believe that our Father has begun drawing His shepherding sons together here in Nakuru. Yesterday George and I met with two young pastors from other local churches. Their yearning for the new wine and their openness to the gospel of the Kingdom was undeniable. They have only been to two of our meetings but God took captive their hearts. They both said they would stay close to George and stay in contact with me until we returned. Both expressed the desire to be completely renewed from the dead forms of Christianity they have been walking in. Both agreed that they had seen in us the Life they were seeking. They and George say there are many such young pastors who desire new Life and that they will bring them together the next time we come. Pray for their hearts to keep asking, keep seeking and to keep knocking until the Lord of Life reveals his plan for their lives and the lives of the people they care for. It's been a battle but we're winning; even our sign reveals its been in a war zone.

Lastly I want to bless the men who labor so diligently in leadership of the Village and the men who stand together in Memphis. I know you have been in just as much warfare as we have here and I also know that your prevailing has been for us as well as your respective people. Because you continue to fight the good fight God’s people live and do not die. Your commitment to the work of Christ has not gone unnoticed and your reward in heaven is great. We are free to fight bravely here because we know we are linked to such men as yourselves. May the Lord you serve give you His rest and bless you at His festival.

Oh; the mystery and blessings of spiritual connection! Here we are halfway around the world and we can still feel the blessings of the coming Ingathering. We can feel the anticipation growing at the thought of being brought deeper into His love. We can feel the excitement of young minds discovering the wonder of their God. We can almost taste the bread and wine of Life. Praise our Father.

We cannot wait to be home. Much love....Me and the rest of the TNT team.

Three Gardens Three Laws

2010-09-14T10:58:00.000-07:00

Almost three weeks ago at a beautiful garden in Nairobi Kenya, called Uhuru Park, the rulers of Kenya implemented a New Covenant (constitution) and put in place hundreds of new laws. These new laws were for the protection, growth and prosperity of all Kenyans. They would be binding on all Kenyans and all their future children without respect to social or political advantage.

These new laws would be set in place by the ruler of Kenya and enforced by his military and civilian authorities. All who choose to obey these laws will be afforded complete freedom of choice and access to all resources of Kenya in pursuing their individual purpose and destiny.

The new laws written in the new Covenant will provide unlimited opportunities to obtain for each Kenyan family, provision, purpose and peace.

All who chose to violate these laws will in that day, lose all liberties and blessings afforded by the New Covenant. Continuation of violating these laws will result in incarceration, deportation out of Kenya or death.

These laws are called … “The Laws of Kenyan Life” and can be found in their New Constitution ratified on August 27, 2010.

Almost seven thousand years ago in a beautiful garden called Eden the Ruler of the Universe implemented a Covenant (constitution) and put in place two laws. These new laws were for the protection, growth and prosperity of all humans. They would be binding on all humans and all their future children without respect to social or political advantage.

These new laws would be set in place by the Ruler of the Universe and enforced by His angelic host. All who would choose to obey those laws would have been accorded complete freedom of choice and access to all of the earth’s resources in pursuing their individual purpose and destiny.

The new laws written in the Covenant would have provided unlimited opportunities to provide for each human family, provision, purpose and peace.

All who chose to violate those laws lost in that day, all liberties and blessings afforded by the New Covenant. Violation of those laws resulted in self-incarceration, deportation out of Eden and death.

Those two laws can be found in the first two chapters of the book of Genesis and are as follows;

The first law; … God is Light and Life. There is no truth apart from His Living Word. All who love and follow the Spirit of His Word will share in His fellowship and thus obtain eternal Life and Light. Nothing in Heaven or earth will be able to nullify this law or affect their eternal well being as long as this law was believed and obeyed.

This law is called; … “The Law of Life.”

The second law: … Because man was created in the image and likeness of God, man’s will must be free as is his Creators; therefore a choice was put before him. The choice was simple… Obey God’s Word and live or choose his own mind and die. This act of choosing his own mind is called Sin. Sin changes man’s spiritual DNA. It is the deep power of darkness and death.

This law is called … “The law of sin and death”.

History records that having forsaken “The First law” mankind is now under the full effects of his violation of the “The Second law”. Man, having no fellowship with God will continue to sin, thereby have no access to Light and Life, and consequently continue to die.

Over two thousand years ago in an unknown garden where crucifixions took place, the Creator of the Universe implemented a New and better Covenant (constitution) and put in place just one new law. This new law is for the protection, growth and prosperity of all humans. It is binding on all humans and all their future children without respect to social or political advantage.

This new law was set in place by the Ruler of the Universe upon His resurrection and will be enforced by His angelic host. All who choose to obey this law will be accorded complete freedom of choice and access to all of heavens resources in pursuing their individual purpose and destiny.

The new law is written in the new Covenant and will provide unlimited opportunities to obtain for each human family, provision, purpose and peace. Continued obedience to this one law will remove forever the effects of “The second Law” known as “The Law of Sin and Death” and restore all benefits of “The First Law” known as “The Law of Life”.

All who chose to violate this law will begin to experience loss in that day, and if continued, eternal loss in “That Day”, of all liberties and blessings afforded by the New Covenant. Continued violation of that law will result in dissipation, deportation out of the Kingdom of Heaven and experience eternal death.

This Law is called … “The Law of the Spirit of Life in Christ Jesus”

“There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has made me free from the law of sin and death”. (Romans 8:1,2)

The pictures of the flowers are from India, Africa, Burma and my front yard.

Miss you all David Noah

Weakness

2010-08-31T07:40:00.000-07:00

This post is a response to a letter written to me by a dear friend. Others who later ended up reading the letter said I should post it. I added the pictures just to have something to look at while you read. They were taken last year from my back porch. So here it is....

We come into this world weak and helpless and continue that way all throughout our time here. Yet between the coming and going, we get caught up in the allusion that if we do enough, study enough, become spiritual enough or make enough money we will overcome our pitiful condition. The unalterable truth is; ... we cannot. The more I go on with God the weaker I become, or better put; the more I become aware of my inherent weaknesses.

It’s not at all in a "feeling pitiful" sense; but in the sense of needing His grace to do the slightest real spiritual thing. As you have written, there have been many times in my wrestling with God that He touched my thigh (strength) and like Jacob, left me limping. Yet each time I became more of who He created me to be and less of who I thought I should be. Let me give you but one more picture of His "touching my thigh".

Here in Kenya the spiritual battles can grow fierce. I was supposed to teach the church last night so I spent most of the day seeking God on what He wanted me to say. Hour after hour I struggled with getting it down on paper. Teaching in a foreign country and in another language is difficult to say the least. While the translator is translating what you said,it helps to keep your train of thought if you have some sort of outline or notes to follow.

All the while I struggled to put my heart down on paper, terrible thoughts flooded my head of how useless the teaching was and how no one would even understand what I was trying to get across anyway. After what seemed like all day of desperate prayer, I finally felt that what I had written was needful and important to their growth in this new corporate life. Soon my peace returned and the burden to "bring it down" lifted.

By the time we were getting in the van to go to the meeting the sky was turning black with storm clouds.

Last week we had some serious monsoon rains with hail come in the afternoons. It started raining with hail one hour before the meeting and washed inside our building. Many (and I don't blame them) didn't want to walk a mile or two in the monsoon. The six or seven that did come were greeted by a half inch of water inside the building where they would set. Add to that man eating mosquitoes were everywhere, the lights began dimming and you get a little feeling of what it felt like arriving in such dreary circumstances and then trying to teach.

Yesterday, exactly one week later, it seemed as though it would be a repeat performance. The sky was growing blacker and blacker once again. As we started driving there I could feel the heaviness descending on my heart. The prospect of a wet and dreary night with just a few people to teach, amidst a room teeming with swarms of man eating mosquitoes is not faith provoking. Also the little mud building we meet in has a tin roof and when it rains or hails it is like being inside John Daniel's snare drum.

As we pulled up to the building it started coming down hard but upon entering the room I was shocked. There were thirty five people sitting smiling and watching us come in. Needless to say I cheered right up. I thought if they came in these conditions, I certainly could give them God's word; that is till I looked around and realized I only recognized one or two of them. Right after that revelation, George walked in and spoke something in Swahili at which point everyone began standing up and leaving! When all had left George explained to me he had let a group from the community use the building and they were supposed to be gone before we arrived.

Oh... I said despondently; looking around at the remaining two elderly ladies, a young man I didn't know and the Muzungus (Amy, Noah and Joy; Amma was hope not feeling well) that came with me from the house. George then turned to me, smiled his very toothy grin and said; OK teach!

Just then the sky fell and so did my courage. The rain and small hail on the tin roof was so loud I had to yell at George to make him hear me sitting 4 feet away. I said, George... I just can't do it. He looked at me inquisitively and yelled back and said… why? At that point I felt the lowest I had ever felt in a very long time. Everything in me wanted to run. I turned to George and yelled; ....I just don't have the heart for it. George looked at the elderly ladies and said ...they have come to hear and you can do it, but you will need God's help. At that point everyone just stared at me. I felt absolutely and completely powerless.

It was at that exact moment I made a decision to turn to God and ask Him for help. I knew I had absolutely no motivation or strength to yell out a teaching for the five people sitting in front of me. I stopped and dropped my head, simply saying ...Father if you desire me to give this teaching, ... quiet the rain and give me your strength to teach.

At the word... teach ...the rain stopped. As I opened my bible and began to teach I felt completely energized and taught the whole lesson from beginning to end with amazing gladness in my heart. Who is like our Father and what can be compared to His mercy and love?

After leaving I was still a little discouraged at the turnout, but sufficed myself with the answered prayers and the fact that I knew I had done what He asked me to do. In my weakness we had all felt His strength.

That night Joy came in our room and told me that the teaching tonight was one of the best teachings I've ever taught. and that Amy D. felt the same way. The next morning George and I went out for tea and George said the same thing. He began to tell me what He had heard God say and I was completely amazed. He had received more from that teaching than anything I have previously taught. He asked me to repeat it Sunday for the whole church. Oh; ... and that was the only night I never saw or felt one mosquito.

Now I tell you this story to confirm your letter's encouraging words to me. It is in our weaknesses that His strength is truly perfected in us. We are not to be concerned with having or not having the feelings of power; we are to let him be powerful. The way of power is and always has been the way of the cross and we can always depend on our Heavenly lover seeing to it that the cross always "crosses" our path. Yet if it does, and we embrace it, we can equally be confident that His resurrection Life will follow.

RCV Grandfather

A Letter of Hope

2010-08-25T07:26:00.000-07:00

Dearest Faith,

That is great news about Tirza. It's a
wonderful and amazing thing to see the Light of this world dawn on a young one's heart. There has always been a terrible fight for her soul. It's so good to hear of her praising God with dance and song.

Today has truly been a very wonderful and needed day here in Nakuru, Kenya. I have been encouraged by three wonderful letters from three wonderful people. Yours was one of them. They all dovetailed into helping this become a most marvelous day. Surely there must be prayers covering us, as we need them so.

I love what you talked about at the end of your letter, it is something I often struggle with. Will I ever be who or what I need to be? Is the deficit too big? There have been times when for no apparent reason a spirit of heaviness descends upon us and especially me. It always comes with the onslaught of those very same questions. I can only hope I am becoming more like Him. But is that hope enough?

I tend to take everything too personally. I feel responsible for everything. If anyone leaves the church, it's my fault. If anyone stumbles, it's my fault. This sad state of mind has got to be some sort of pride disorder; or maybe PTS (Post Traumatic Syndrome) from being called a cult leader for 35 years. Something (or someone) starts me thinking; ... if I would have just been stronger, better, more devoted, disciplined etc. etc, and done something different, things would be so much better. Yet, I am never privy to what that something is. Which makes me wonder about the origin and validity of such enlightenment?

That's exactly how the accuser of the brethren works. And I know that but when my weaknesses and self love are thrown into the mix, it still seems to be my entire fault. This wrestling makes me tired. I do not mind the thought of wrestling with God, even if my confidence "limps" ever afterward like Jacob. There is always the hope of our nature being changed and moving forward; but what about wrestling with stupid emotions?

When I'm being pinned by Satan's huge massive arms of accusations and fear, I feel I'm way outmatched. You might then tell me; "Let the Lord fight the battle". I know I need to let the Lord fight my battles but, then, what is the armor He gave us for? Aren't we supposed to be wrestling these high and mighty devils?

Question is; how do I hold up the shield of faith and extinguish a few of these darts instead of peering around the shield to see where they come from and getting it in the face? I know that God is in control of everything and nothing comes against me without His foreknowledge. I also know and believe that I can only do what He allows me to do. Or better stated; I can only be me and can only do what I think He tells me to do. I am me and not someone else. But why does reason have to continually whisper to me, that the welfare of the universe does not depend on my decisions... whether good or bad?

By the way I don't know if any of this is making any sense, but it sure feels good to watch the computer screen over the top of my fingers form my thoughts into words. I guess I really needed to get all this out. I really am OK, but as usual, I'm having a lot of feelings. :-)

Yesterday a picture of an acquaintance I haven't seen for almost twenty years came up across my computer screen. It wasn't really because my acquaintance put it there, but because it’s what the Machine Master Mind of the Cyber World wanted to happen. I looked at it and thought; who is that old man? Oh my gosh! It's Bill Tinsley! It can’t be, he’s so old. Then I slowly and carefully raised myself in my chair and looked into the mirror hanging over my desk at another old man staring back at me.

I felt the same shock I previously felt looking at the face on my computer screen; ....Oh my gosh! It’s me! Suddenly I felt as tired as I have ever felt in my whole life. I felt the dwindling time of my mortal stay on this earth. My first impulse was to scream.... What's going on? STOP.... or at least... SLOW DOWN!

It seems like just yesterday I came back to the States from surfing in Puerto Rico and entered the little coffee house that started such tremendous changes in my life some forty years ago. What an incredible ride! It has been such an amazing and wonderfully terrifying adventure. Not at all like driving in a car with the mindset ... “God is my copilot"; but more like flying in the front seat of a roller coaster screaming down the track. No steering wheel, no brakes, just up and down, side to side, wide eyed flying down the track. How very frightening following God can sometimes be.

Now I have been on this roller coaster ride for forty years and it has never once slowed down. I have learned much about trusting those tracks because of I know the Designer and yet ... sometimes I feel alone and helpless in that seat.

Sometimes I think that twenty three year old young man stopped aging... not stopped growing... the instant he sat down in that seat. When I looked in the mirror I saw that my body went on in time and has grown old; but it left the same young man inside sometimes still feeling a little insecure and unchanged.

Sometimes he wants out. Not out of the roller coaster; out of the old body I used to call me. It’s not just that the shell is wearing out, but that it is still so full of things I no longer want to feel or think. And.... it is way too confining. It seems to hinder who and what the creator said this aged young man would become. I am also feeling that the person I think I should be, the one I would have me be if I were in control... shouldn't even exist. I think he may be just a lust of this old shell's desires and needs. I don't even know how to make me better if I could. I only have this one and desperate hope.

I have clung to this hope for forty years and it sustains me through every demonic attack. But still sometimes I still wonder … Is this hope enough?

My one desire is when my life is over and I slowly and carefully look in the mirror... I'll look just like Him. What makes that hope so wonderfully hopeful is where it is found. The Scriptures say that though this shell (body) is deteriorating the anxious young man inside is changing …if he clings to that one hope. Perhaps I will have to wait till Christ is finished working on me to know, but it is what He promised. Perhaps we should quit looking in the mirror and cling to this burning, purifying hope. It's really the safest thing we can do.

"Beloved, now we are children of God; and it has not yet been revealed what we shall be, but we know that when He is revealed, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is. And everyone who has this hope in Him purifies himself, just as He is pure. Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man (Shell) is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day." (2 Corinthians 4:16, 1 John 3:2, 3)

RCV Grandfather

Prayer and Weaknesses

2010-08-18T00:18:00.000-07:00

Thank you and bless you for keeping us all in your prayers. It seems as though the devil really attacks me when I first arrive in Kenya. I start feeling insecure and rather helpless in the face of such need. Then I begin to second guess myself and down I go. I am sure some of it is due to exhaustion from the trip. Our Kenyan family already knows how to read my face (no matter how I try to hide whats going on behind it) so there is no hiding from them whats true. One asked me why I wasn't happy. Sometimes I wish I wasn't so transparent.

The hit was short lived though, because through your prayers, our Master rose up and rebuked the accuser of the brethren. Through the requests of His people, He spoke peace to the troubled waters in my mind and calmed the angry sea of my emotions. I have once again have entered His rest and have remembered that I can only do what he bids me to do. Its not us who water and weed the garden but God who gives the growth. Shortly after those troubled hours I saw why the adversary had attacked me and tried to "sully" my spirit.

Later on that evening we visited a small new clan. Right before we left the house, a sudden storm hit Nakuru and the streets began to flood. It rained so hard traveling there, I was worried that we would be swept off the road by the flooding. The back roads in that particular part of the slum area are so bad that most were impassable. The van died twice from water getting into the distributor cap and we had to fix it each time before we could proceed.

Now, mind you this is in the worst part of Nakuru, it's the same area they burned a man who stole a bike last year. And it was getting dark. We had taken off our shoes and put on flip flops before we left the house, anticipating a possible walk from the van to the "apartment" the clan would meet in that night. When we arrived we were met by the two precious men (Lawrence and Kennedy) that I mentioned in my last Stonehouse blog. (See Stone House Revelations)

Remember; the pictures you are looking at are illuminated by our camera flash only, it was actually so dark we couldn't see each others faces.

We walked thought the mud to a small ten by ten mud apartment house. There, gathered were six or seven people awaiting our arrival. Immediately as we entered the dark and dank little room, we felt our Father's presence and pleasure. My previous mood would have excluded me from feeling that.

Amma, Joy, Amy and Noah shared their hearts and their love with all present. Immediately we loved them and were loved by them. We sang praises and shared tea and pieces of white bread. It was a real and actual "love feast". In the darkness of twilight the Light of Heaven shone in our hearts bringing more of His precious family together.

We love our Father so very much and want His people here to be built up by true faith, but only He
can make that happen. We want so much for them to see God working; not just money and words being thrown around.

We are confident once more that He is convicting and working with the people's hearts to love Him as well as everyone around them. In the end those are the things that really matter to Him and us.

I love our God and I am glad He reveals my weaknesses, for it is only when my strength is firmly bound, that His strength is let loose.
RCV Grandfather

Blowing it!

2010-08-09T14:01:00.000-07:00

Well so much for trying to manage my blog. I pressed too many buttons and now I have to start over. I think I blew the blog up. So dear ones; here is the new address for the same blog. I hope all of you that signed up will re sign up, if that is the right terminology. Just type in your email address in the subscribe box or hit the Follow box and do what it tells you to do.

One good thing about this whole mini mess- up is, that it illustrates some of the issues I wrote about in my first blog. All my life my dad, whose words continue to live on in my head, said he knew “blowing up my blog” is the kind of thing would happen because I’m just not a very technical kind of person. The truth is he was right; but that fact doesn’t alter the balancing truth that with some help I can overcome technical problems.

So at this point my choices are; say this is just the way it is, let Doug fix it and never try that again, or I can learn what I did wrong and get some help in fixing it myself. Though my technical support helper (Doug) probably would like me to choose the former because of how much I call for help, he’s always very gracious when I choose the latter.

God, much in the same way, wants us to grow up and learn to how to be spiritual and I think he doesn’t care much if we are always failing at it. He loves to help us and He just wants us to get that help and learn.

So many Christians attempt to become more spiritual by bravely going “where no man has gone before” and then getting terribly lost. Whether it's learning to pray or finding a real church, the odds are we will experience some discouragement and failure along the way. Sometimes the failures or disappointments are God's preparation to give us more than we asked for.

Take for example the Syrophenician woman in Mark 7:26-30 for example. She was just asking the Lord to heal her daughter and what she got in return was to be insulted. Yet instead of going “Oh well that’s just how these Jews are; I should have asked at a better time, I probably blew it”; She took the insult, humbled herself, then risked embarrassment by asking again. The result was, she so impressed Christ that he changed his policy and gave her what she wanted. She also went away with the Lord being impressed by her heart because she took a step of faith. She had begun a relationship with Christ, something more than what she had asked for.

We would do well to not stop looking for what our heart tells us we need because of disappointments or discouraging people. Sometimes the Lord uses those disappointments to fulfill His desires in us. That being our attaining steadfastness( the ability to keep on going) in faith. That’s what trials are for.

So, whether its healing for a child, learning to pray effectively or finding a living, vibrant body of believers to be a part of, don’t stop asking, seeking or knocking. He will open the door of His heart….even if you blow it and knock on the wrong door.

RCV Grandfather

Captive Thoughts

2010-08-09T12:31:00.000-07:00

Welcome to my new blog. I'm really trying to become more proficient at writing, so I thought I’d like to start a new blog to aid the process. I’m going to call it; My Captive Thoughts, because most of the post will examine the random ideas that pass through my head. I want to "capture and cross examine” them more thoroughly to see where they came from and if they’re really true. I may put a few pictures up but probably not as many as I do in my other blog called Stonehouse Revelations. The Stonehouse will be full of pictures and will chronicle our up and coming trip to Kenya.
Here's the link; … http://noahrcv.blogspot.com/ .

I am not real sure if anyone else but me will profit much from “ My Captive Thoughts” . As I previously stated it will primarily be for meet to examine what I think. Over the years I have found that writing down my thoughts actually helps me process ideas that show up in my head. If I let ideas run around in my head long enough and go unchallenged, they begin to shape who I am; so it might be advantageous to "lock them up" by writing them down till I can know if they are beneficial or not. The name of this blog; "Captive Thoughts", came from a letter written to people who lived in Corinth, two thousand years ago, and struggled with the same problems.

"Casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts its self against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought captive to the obedience of Christ." (2 Corinthians 10:5)

I intend to subject all my opinions and theories to the mind of Christ. He alone is my ultimate truth and has the power to change not only what I think but also the process I use to in coming to my conclusions.

There is a saying that I have always loved and it describes the importance of examining what you think. It goes like this.....

"Watch over your thoughts for they become words. Watch over your words because they become actions. Watch over your actions because they become habits. Watch over your habits because they become character. Watch over your character for it will become your destiny."

Many people fret and wonder about their destiny.... yet perhaps they should be more concerned about what they let stay in their heads.

I remember my father always telling me there were just some things that I would never be any good at. Now, I'm relatively sure I gave him plenty of good reasons to think that way. The problem was, his thoughts stayed unchallenged in my brain for a long time and it wasn't untill I was in my forty’s that I found out that most of his opinions were not true.

As a result; some things I never attempted, other’s I quit way before I had given suffecient time to even learn them. There were many things, good things, I missed out on, because I never challenged my dad’s view point of me. Hence my thoughts began to write my destiny. Now I don’t blame my father for giving his opinion, it is up to me to “examine all things and hold to what’s good” (2 Thessalonians 5:21). As has been said..."I may not be able to keep the birds from flying over my head....but I can keep them from nesting in my hair".

So for better or worse this blog is where I intend to “take captive and cross examine” all things I currently believe.

RCV Grandfather